Timebomb
by the-dramatic-harmonica
Summary: Bruce can't deny that the one thing that makes him hulk out, is his envious hate for Steve Rogers. When this comes to light, it creates a mess of emotions and feelings for all involved, leaving every member of the team on the verge of snapping and shattering into a billion broken piece. A Tony/Bruce/Steve mess of emotions, kissing, misplaced rage and of course, drinking.
1. Keep Calm And Don't Hulk Out

Disclaimer: All rights to their respective sources. I own nothing.

Tony/Bruce, Tony/Steve, Steve/Bruce (implied), Natasha/Clint (implied)

* * *

It was so easy to blame Loki. Him, his damned helmet and that stupid scepter of his. Truth would drum on his brain, become unavoidable, break down the walls of denial and spill out until every cell knew it. Even geniuses couldn't run from it. He couldn't take it. He had to steady his breathing and try not to think about it, but it was taking over. He felt like an idiot, as if his IQ of 189 was simply just a number.

He tried to think back to the exact moment, but he couldn't and that terrified him. He had learned how to control it, if not control it, sense it, he could tell when the other guy was about to come out and take over. But that time, there was no reason for the minuscule switch in his cell structure, for him to feel the sudden pressure to become furious.

He thought again about what had been happening, and the words rushed at him suddenly, and he could feel an ache in his heart as realizations poured over him. The memories tainting him with more pain than he could bear. He feared that he would lose himself to the other guy, and more, he feared for the civilians in the other room. He didn't want to cause any damage, but the memories taking over him, would drive him to that special spot where jealousy festered in his mind until it ruled him. Until he was no longer Bruce Banner.

He could see it as clear as day, as if he was back on that plane, in the lab. Steve and Tony across from him, arguing about something, tearing each other apart. There was fury in their words, but passion in their tone. An unsettling amount of aggression, as if they were trying too hard. Bruce didn't have to look far to see the reason for Tony's rage, his thinly veiled jealousy. Carried down by his father, but it was something different, and unsettling. _That's the guy my dad wouldn't shut up about? _ He had said only hours before.

Then it was the resounding insult, _big man in a suit of armor, take that off and what are you? _

It was armor that Tony fought back with, Bruce could see that, every word of the quick remark, this listing of traits. Bruce had wondered when Tony would add _hero _to the list. _Genius, Billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. _

He had picked up the scepter before he'd realized it, but it had happened before then, he had already started to feel the change. Each cell shifting at Steve's words. They drummed in Bruce's mind and he couldn't shake the feeling of dislike, even though he knew he had nothing against the Captain. War hero, first soldier and role model. Hadn't he loved Steve as a child? Bruce had spent hours imagining he _was_ Captain America. The guy who had it all; super strength, super morals and an incredible vigor to fight everything that was wrong. Bruce felt it nonetheless, when Steve had said it. _I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. _He was going to transform, and he had the sudden feeling it was because he really didn't like Steve Rogers and the way he was speaking to his new best friend Tony Stark.

It was easier to blame the Norse god with a thought out plan, or their cocktail or egos mixing, ready to explode. So much simpler to chalk it up to the stress of the situation, the explosion that had tried to tear the plane to shreds. It was easier than the truth. It was still there though, once Steve had said those words, he had started to transform. Subtly, at first, so everyone could blame the plane, or the sudden drop to the floor below. He had clenched his fist, holding it in, but the added stress was too much, there was no turning back now. He was filled with the urge to find Captain America and beat him until he was as small as he had been before the serum.

Natasha had said something, tried to calm him down, but it did nothing against him. She didn't know him yet, none of them knew how to train him. He was still fuming, thinking of Tony and Steve's looks, and the second he let the image in, he went green with envy.

He hated it, how transparent he was. How the other guy was all emotions, rage, jealousy and love. The other guy had saved Tony. The other guy had made sure no one else touched him. Some nights, Bruce was afraid he would have an incident just thinking about the plane again. Try as he might, he couldn't avoid it. The thing that screamed _You're jealous of Steve _at night. Reminded him of his failures, of how he had wanted to be Captain America so badly, he had turned himself into a monster. A monster that despised the own reason for his creation. The catch 22 was nauseating. The irony unwanted.

He breathed out deeply and stared at the sink of the bathroom. He had to get back outside, he had to join them or they would wonder where he had gone. He swallowed, and tried to keep the demons at bay. He tried to reason, that nothing had changed. He had always been jealous of Steve, isn't that why he'd replicated the formula? Isn't that why he just happened to turn into a mess of rage and green limbs and smashing when Tony and Steve had insulted each other? A part of him feared it was more than that, but thankfully, he didn't have time to dwell on it. He told himself that it was because Steve was hilarious, and genuine, and a leader. Bruce tried to promise himself, calming his emotions so he wouldn't hulk out, that all of this had nothing to do with Tony Stark.

He stepped out of the bathroom and brushed off his suit, clothes that Tony had given him and sat back down at the table. He stared at his salmon bisque and glazed asparagus as if nothing had happened. Pretending that he hadn't been seconds away from an attack.

"Thank god you are back!" Tony said theatrically, "_he _has been asking me questions all about the damn moon landing and do you know how hard it is to explain rocket science to a man who didn't grow up with electricity?" Tony asked in a flair, his eyes fixed on Steve. He looked to Bruce as if he should be awarded the Nobel PRize just for trying.

"I had electricity! I'm adjusting well, I try," Steve shrugged with a smile. Tony nodded, shoving garlic bread into his mouth, his attention waning from Bruce almost immediately.

"Yes you do." Tony answered. As if he was invisible, Bruce stared down at his plate, feeling as if his stomach had just hit the floor. He wanted to rush back to the bathroom to be sick.

"But Bruce speaks English," Tony quipped back, not noticing how green his friend was.

"You call that science babble English?" Steve asked back, cocking an eyebrow.

"So what took you so long? Turning a urinal into a rudimentary one cylinder teleporter to another dimension?" Tony asked, suddenly looking at Bruce. Steve followed his gaze and reacted. It was clearly just a power play, to show Steve that no matter how hard he tried, he would never know all there was to know about science.

"Are you alright?" Steve asked, noticing how sick Bruce was looking. Bruce was still shocked to find that they had even noticed him, as they had been using him as a tool of jealousy in their flirtation just moments before.

"Is it the revolving restaurant?" Steve asked, peering at the changing landscape for a second. They stared at the night sky, the panoramic rotating view of the city's skyline, 18 floors up, and Steve gulped as if it was making him dizzy just thinking about it.

"No, he's been here before," Tony responded. Bruce was filled with a dozen memories at least, of dinners shared with Tony here. Heated discussions until 4 in the morning ( the staff never kicked them out) anything off the menu (_my treat,_Tony had always said) and somehow, the memories made him feel even worse. As if they had all been a lie, a distraction compared to the way Tony never seemed to look away from Steve.

"Yeah, I should go home," Bruce lied, eager to escape this strange torture and bury himself in work at the lab.

"But Legolas and Natasha are on their way," Tony pleaded, but Bruce was too angry, or sullen to see the desperation in his friend's voice. Too caught of guard by the familiarity of Natasha's name, and that Hawkeye's nickname was still being used.

Tony resisted mentioning that the pair had promised to be there in time for dinner. Now, their plates were clean and there was no sign of the spy duo.

"They'll be here for dessert if they're not already having it, if you know what I mean-" Tony winked.

"Tony, don't," Steve rolled his eyes, but a smirk hovered over his features. "We haven't all seen each other since...well...that whole Loki incident last summer," Steve began. Bruce put up his hand, the other covering his mouth.

"Please, don't talk about him," he begged. Bruce would rather use Loki as the catch-all excuse, than admit that Tony and Steve's witty banter was the reason for his nausea.

"He thinks it'll make him hulk out," Tony explained.

"I should just go," Bruce repeated.

"Thor's coming with wine from Asgard, stay, you're staying" Tony tried again. "He'll stay," Tony said confidently, turning back to Steve. As if he could just return to his conversation with the super soldier and forget about begging Bruce to stay.

"How do you know?" Steve asked.

"Just like I knew he would come to help us fight Loki," Tony shrugged.

"Don't say his name,"

"He's not Voldemort,"

"Volde...who?" Steve asked, confused.

"Do you want me to Hulk out?" Bruce snapped, before "Sorry, sorry that was rude...you just know I hate it when you do that,"

"Do what?" Tony played the innocent.

"Act like you know me!"

"I do know you," Tony pointed out.

"You know what I mean," Bruce shied away from the truth.

"So..." Steve began, picking up his glass. "How often do you guys hang out?" he asked, and Bruce could swear he heard a hint of jealousy in Steve's voice. He had been lost since the Voldemort reference,after all, and ignored promptly after. Steve's eyes were downcast, his attention was on the knife he was fiddling with, but his voice was earnest. Bruce resisted the sudden urge to grin, and didn't pause to think why that would make him pleased. Steve took a sip of wine, his eyes darting between the two of them as he waited for a response.

"We hang out every week or so," Tony said casually, before turning his attention back to Bruce, who was now more fascinating than the super soldier.

"What's going on with you?"

"Nothing,"

"So you're gonna leave just to spite me? I organized this, all my hard work and you haven't even touched your food-" Tony pointed out, gesturing to the full glass of wine, the barely touched seafood meal.

"Tony just let it go," Bruce sighed.

"You guys fight like a marri-" Steve began in a joking tone, but suddenly his voice dropped. His smile disappeared, as he mulled over the words and how very real they seemed.

"I'm not feeling well," Bruce repeated, as if to make himself believe it.

"Gonna hulk out?" Tony asked, not beating around the bush.

"I'm worried about it," Bruce admitted in a gruff tone. He was getting tired of Tony's incessant questions, his inability to let it go.

"Had to go calm down in the bathroom for a half hour?"

"Tony, don't-"

"Your salmon's cold," he responded, before shrugging "What?I had some,"

"Maybe if you keep mentioning Loki, Yes, I will!" Bruce responded, going to his number one defense mechanism. It took Tony less than a minute to call him out on it.

"Bullshit,"

"Tony, we're in a fancy restaurant," Steve muttered, looking around, offering an apologetic glance to everyone looking their way.

"F**K that, I own the whole building," Tony said loudly. Steve cringed at the show of force, but said nothing.

"You know as well as I do that Loki is not a trigger," Tony was continuing. "Or do you not remember our weekend in Napa when I said nothing but Loki for two days straight?"

"You guys go to Napa together?" Steve asked suddenly.

"There was a small tech convention and a _lot_ of wine," Tony shrugged, his eyes glazing over Steve, who suddenly felt the jealousy Bruce had been fuming with all night.

"So what are you avoiding?"

"I really should get back...I have some cellular prototypes to restructure-"

"Bruce, stop hiding, Loki's not the trigger!" Tony slammed his hand on the table to make an impression. Eyes darted to their table at the noise and he looked pleased at the sudden attention.

"Always wanted to do that," he grinned, clearly having a better time than the others.

"Jesus Tony, I feel exposed as ...the other guy, you know that, don't do this. We're just supposed to catch up, remember? Avengers reunion? All those invitations Pepper made?"

"I made them," Tony defended. Steve and Bruce glanced at each other, snickering. "OK, Pepper made them. But we can't have a reunion without you big green,"

"Then stop trying to provoke me and I'll stay!" Bruce snapped, his voice uneven. He wanted very suddenly to return to the marble counter of the bathroom, the automatic water, the horrifyingly calm nature sounds and soothing jazz. He wanted to calm down.

"You never care if I try to provoke you or not," Tony pointed out, his mind whizzing ahead of Bruce's. "Do you know what the trigger is? Are you afraid I'll find it? You've figured it out." Tony asked, his eyes gleaming as if he was a child on halloween seeing all his candy of the night.

"Tell me,"

"Tony,"

"TELL ME!" he begged, excited.

"Leave it alone,"

"JUST TELL US! Come on. As your team members, I think we need to know, so we utilize it in the heat of battle and everything. Logically, it's safer for us to know"

"He's not going to tell you, and that's obviously not the reason you want to know," Steve interjected.

"BRUCE! Tell me!"

"Tony, leave it alone! You're upsetting him!" Steve said suddenly.

"He's a big boy," Tony snapped. "Bruce, you have to tell us,"

"Tony, let it go," Steve responded again. "Why do you always have to poke at everything?"

"This isn't your fight soldier!" Tony responded, adding a sarcastic grin.

"TONY-" Steve growled, more aggressive than Bruce had been all night.

"CAPSICLE-" Tony responded in a sarcastic, mocking way.

"STOPIT'SSTEVE!" Bruce said suddenly. He had to shut them up, he couldn't bear them fighting anymore. Then, he realized the truth he had just spilt. He wondered how quickly Tony would be able to figure it all out, with his genius IQ, that mind Bruce loved so much. Bruce's eyes widened and he bowed his head, shaking it, wishing that he had already invented time travel. Wishing that he could slip back into the past 5 seconds and remedy that fatal error.

"Wait, what?" Tony asked. Bruce counted the seconds, praying to whatever Gods there were, even Thor graced his silent pleas. He begged to disappear, that Tony wouldn't figure it out. Fate, of course, wasn't going to be so kind.

"Did you just say it was...me?" Steve asked in a low whisper. He couldn't understand it, his eyes filled with a sadness and his features morphed into confusion. "Why...why would it be me?" he asked slowly, as if he didn't want to know.

"Oh my god," Tony said suddenly. "This makes perfect sense,"

There were things he couldn't get away with, he knew! There was no use trying. Besides, the only word he could think that rhymed was sleeve, and that excuse would never fly. He hid his gaze from both of them, admitting it by bowing his head. He closed his eyes and wished again for time travel, or some remedy. He wished the place would be suddenly swarmed with a threat, so they could get away from this conversation. He hoped Thor would show up, or even Clint just at this moment and take the pressure of. Nothing was helping, though, and all attention was on him.

"Wait, what makes sense?" Steve asked.

"You never want to talk about him when we hang out and you imitated his serum, you're so much nicer to him than I am-"

"-everyone is nicer to me than you are," Steve pointed out.

"Tony, please just don't," Bruce begged, his voice a low grumble. Tony could have figured it out, anyone could have, all the signs were there. Bruce pulled in a breath, as if the very air was reluctant to be a part of him and he rattled with fear. Somehow, he kept it in.

"Hey, Bruce, you're among friends, it's ok," Tony promised, before turning to Steve. "I think he's uh...got a soft spot for you," Bruce exhaled in relief, only to be filled with more sudden panic, surpassing the fear that had taken a hold of him seconds before.

"What?" Steve asked, his thoughts still reeling. It was about to come, Tony was about to confess to Steve, for Bruce. Of course, Bruce knew, it would be done with all the flair and insensitivity that Tony could muster. At the end of the day, Tony was selfish, he would make jokes and laugh with them, but a part of him wouldn't see it, would just resent them for leaving him behind, from pulling away from him. That was the reason for his rage, his insincere smiles, his sexualized jokes. He was terrified of losing them both, but a part of Bruce hoped that Tony would see the truth, before he dug shallow, emotion ridden graves for each of them.

"Or a you know... Not so _soft_, he likes you. He's got Captain Fever. Soldier fever. He'd lay down his life on your gun, Cap'n, hey maybe it's the spandex-"

"WHAT?" Steve asked.

"WHAT?" Bruce reiterated, even louder.

"Hey, it's ok. You two go and ...be merry, I'm better on my own," Tony promised, his eyes hiding an immense sadness.

"Always thought it would be Thor and Coulson, but hey-" Tony shrugged, waving at a passing waiter. He wanted to order a whole bottle of scotch and stay in his seat until all of the expensive liquid poured into his soul and turned his brain to mush. He wanted to ruin every single cell in his mind, drop his IQ low enough that he wouldn't remember how this felt. If he had a heart, it would be breaking.

Bruce thought for a moment that he would go along with the lie. That it was better than the truth he was so terrified of admitting. He had to be honest, and he had to be noble, that much he knew. He ironically, had Captain to thank for those lessons. All those nights he had stayed awake with comic books and textbooks on gamma radiation, all those days spent dreaming of being a hero. He had grown out of the costumes and the games, but the values remained.

"No...It's not that Steve," as he looked up, he was stunned to find how heart broken Tony looked. Gears clicked in that moment and what had been impossible to admit days before he couldn't wait to say now. There was no fear in saying I love you, only fear in getting an unwanted response.

Bruce looked to the both of them, unsure of who deserved his attention.

"Then what is it?" Steve asked.

"He's just in denial Cap'n!" Tony continued. "Hysterical with love, don't listen to him!"

"Tony, stop," Steve begged.

"I'm not...I'm in the presence of love," Bruce opted for instead. Feeling his cells click, his emotions shift into a deep sadness. He was terrified of what he was about to say, about to do. The signs were all there, a billion crystals, 52 stars, sparkling above him. It was impossible to miss.

"You two belong together," he bit his tongue to keep the tears in, knowing they wouldn't notice, not really. "And the fact that you're denying it makes me so-" he laughed, huffing out a breath. "Angry," he shrugged.

"I just hate when you fight," he continued, and it was a half truth. "I just had to say something to stop it and I hate that I'm in the middle of it," that was true and he had to stop for fear of betraying himself. He was terrified of sabotaging himself, of screaming, _Jesus, Tony, I'm lying. Can't you see that? I hate to be in the middle of you and him. You don't even look at me. _Somehow, he found the strength to continue.

"I didn't mean to say it was you Steve, it's just the way you two are around each other, I should get out of your hair." he paused, sucking in the last of his emotion, knowing his features didn't betray them. "I'll get back to the lab, like I said cellular prototypes to work on. You should turn this into a date," he shrugged. Without taking his jacket, he fled the restaurant. He couldn't maintain his composure in the elevator, never for once thinking that Tony would check the tapes. Tears streamed down his features, but for the first time since he had joined the Avengers, he truly felt like a hero. He raced out into the night air and became just another lost, heartbroken soul on the streets of New York.

[tbc]


	2. Brokenhearted in Bangkok

AN:Thank for all your kind words!

* * *

Bruce waited all night for a call, for something to tell him how wrong he'd been. Nothing came, and within two days, he knew it had all changed. He blamed himself almost immediately. He wished he had said nothing, regret filled his veins like a slow poison possessing him. He hoped Tony was happy, the kind of happy you get when you're deliriously in love. He wished that for Tony, even if it meant his own pain. If it meant no more texting, or late night phone calls, or any interaction with the billionaire at all. If Tony was happy, well, then maybe Bruce could live with it.

Bruce didn't allow himself to think about Tony and Steve together, for fear of hulking out, but still, wasn't he Tony's friend? He thought that Tony could at least text him. Maybe his phone was broken, he thought. Because they were friends and before that had meant texts and calls everyday. Now it was nothing. The silence was torture. He wondered if he should call him, and ask about Steve. He didn't want to open up that can of worms. He didn't want to hear a single thing about the stupid super soldier. He had to stop his train of thought, look at an image over his work desk in the lab. Calming amazon river. He couldn't hulk out where he was working in the underground facility. He just needed to hear Tony's voice. He pulled the number out of speed dial. Tony was number one, which had been his own doing. The memory flooded Bruce immediately, and he looked like an idiot, smiling at his phone, lost in thought.

"What are you doing?" Bruce had asked, looking up from his work to see Tony fiddling with his phone.

"Speed dial, if you ever have a...you're calling them incidents now right? No. They should be, when you have an overflow of awesome, or strength, we'll work on the patent, but whenever you have another overflow of awesome, you just call me and the jet will pick you up, wherever, whenever,"

"Tony,"

"I'm number 1, you had some girl there. I'm ashamed. Science Bros over hoes" Tony continued with rapid fire speed.

"Right,"

"You're second in mine," Tony offered the information too easily.

"I didn't ask,"

"Yes, but Pepper would leave me as a pile of shrapnel if she wasn't first,"

"I should get back to work," Bruce had said, not eager to get into a discussion of Tony's romantic life.

He stared down at the phone. Maybe 4 days wasn't so bad. Maybe Tony was in an area with no reception, or maybe he was hurt. He had to call him, Bruce thought suddenly. Then, that IQ kicked in and he thought better of his actions. He put the phone away and tried to get his mind onto a neutral topic, but that was nearly impossible. The truth was, that's not how their friendship had functioned. Tony had always pushed and pulled Bruce out of his turtle like shell. He had dragged Bruce to weapons exhibitions, wine tastings, hotel openings and tech conventions. Tony had, without fail, texted him everyday, or even called him. Bruce had let it happen, content in his quiet timidness to be called Tony's best friend. Elation had always flooded him, but he had always resisted. He noticed, Tony would have a better time if he thought he had convinced Bruce to pick him over his work. Now, Bruce supposed, that time was over. He convinced himself that he had just been Tony's backup when loneliness had plagued the billionaire. The man he could no longer call his friend, and he could only blame himself for causing a rift between them. He closed his eyes and thought of yoga retreats, but even that reminded him of Tony. Tony occupied every thought, every reference, every goddamn freaking memory. It was enough to make a man angry. He was counting his breaths, his fist clenched, angry at himself. There was no logical reason to hulk out, to destroy his own lab, and endanger half a down other scientists because he was raging at himself. Thankfully, his phone went off, distracting him. He hoped it was Tony, but instead, his heart sank as he saw Fury's name displayed back at him.

"Banner," he answered, as calm as he could manage.

* * *

Then, a month later, he got to see Tony again, and a few things would finally be cleared up.

The threat was in Bangkok, and the whole team was to be called in. Bruce was going mad with the silence. Stoic silence for 4 whole weeks. Not a single call, or text. His heart raced when he thought of seeing Tony again.

"You are coming, right?" Natasha asked him over the phone.

Bruce thought for a moment. He pictured Steve and Tony all over each other, he pictured their flirting and their witty (annoying) banter and he wanted to be sick. Could he even stand it? He wondered how fast he would hulk out around them.

"You better be coming, I'm not taking no as an answer,"

"Is it a good idea?" Bruce asked. "You can handle it without me"

"You're part of the team. Besides, don't you want to see Tony?"

That was it, he wanted to see Tony. God, it was eating him up alive. It was worse than the insomnia, the nightmares of Steve and Tony together. It was worse than the repetitive image of the night at the restaurant that never stopped haunting him. He hated how _salmon, _and Iron and all things scientific reminded him of Tony.

"You ditched on the reunion," Natasha was continued when he tuned back in. "So you're coming,"

"Fine," he hung up the phone, trying to hatch a plan to save himself, and Tony's new lover in the process. He was craving an incident, hoping if he got it out of the way for the battle, he wouldn't erupt into the monster around Steve. There were no guarantees though and it all depended on Steve and Tony, and he hoped, for his own sake, that he could handle whatever they had become.

It could be a lot worse, he evaluated, standing across from them in a Skytrain station, once again waiting for Thor. Tony and Steve weren't touching each other, they weren't all over each other like he had seen them so many times before in his nightmares. They were civil. The intense passion and bickering was kept hidden, and the civility just screamed that they knew each other, that the passion had boiled down into a sweet, tender love. That was worse.

"Be right back," Tony promised, flipping open his phone, he disappeared once more into a near by shop. Bruce clenched his fist and avoided eye contact with Steve. This was the 5th time in the last twenty minutes that Tony had left the two of them alone.

He despised being alone with the Captain. Though, he supposed it was better than seeing them together. The Captain he could handle, but what he hated, is how Tony hadn't spoken two words to him since they had met up. Just a hello and that had been all. He'd been on urgent phone calls for the rest of the time, leaving Steve and Bruce in a horrible silence.

"So," Steve began, awkwardness filling the space between them. This time, he wasn't going to let the lack of communication rule them.

"I've never been to Bangkok before," he tried as small talk. "It's busy,"

"It does have a population of 6 million people," Bruce responded, as civil as he could manage. Steve nodded and breathed out, slowly.

"Look, Bruce, I don't want things to be awkward, Tony explained the-" Steve stopped, suddenly seeing the effect of the name on Bruce. How Bruce's eyes glazed over with a strange quality, how he looked up and met Steve's gaze at the sound of the name.

"Uh...er..._He_ explained you know, the situation, and I just want us to continue working as a team, so you just tell me what I need to do, or not to do and we'll figure this thing out," Steve promised.

"How are you two doing?" Bruce asked before he could help himself. He wanted to shout, _No don't tell me! I don't want to know. _But he resisted, he didn't want to expose his secret. But, he know that if he got details of their love life, it would only be a matter of time before he was green.

"Are you sure you want to know?" Steve asked, gently. Too gently for Bruce's taste. "Its fine...you know how it is. It was awkward at first, of course, but it's returned to normal now, well I guess we can't ever really go back, but, look I don't want to hurt you talking about this and I'm still wrapping my head around it," Steve confessed, trying to protect Bruce.

"Ok, enough chit chat," Tony appeared, urgency in his tone. It was clear he had returned reluctantly. He looked nervous around Bruce and his eyes shifted to him every 5 seconds. Yet he wouldn't speak a word to him, directing all his focus onto Steve.

"What's happening?" Steve asked, all business, forgetting their emotional issues.

"Clint and Natasha are on the skytrain, bringing the threat to us,"

"They've already detained it?" Steve specified.

"No, they're ON the train, on top of, come on," Tony repeated. "I'll fly you up," Tony offered to Steve, his helmet sliding into place.

"Bruce, you do what you need to do, and we'll see on the train, right?" Steve asked before Tony grabbed him and started their flight out of the station.

"How was it?" Tony said, still in Bruce's earshot.

"Worse than I thought, he's a mess," Steve responded. That was all it took. Bruce transformed, fuming at the situation, holding back the tears with his jealousy. People raced away from him with screams as he jumped through the ticket barriers and towards the escalator. The ticket barriers shattered to the ground, the escalator hummed, out of power as the Hulk's feet crashed through the stairs. With thunder raging over head, they knew Thor had just arrived in time.

Thai people screamed, officers blew whistles and the central skytrain station of _Chit Lom_ would have months of repairs. Seconds later he was on the platform. The train with Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff, Thor, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark and 3 dozen super genetic aliens was whizzing towards him.

Though they were successful, the clean up was abysmal. Three ruined sky train stations, a good 4 meters taken out of the line, crashed to the streets below, not to mention two of the pillars holding up the a section of the skytrain route had been ruined, and that was just Bruce's damage.

He opened his eyes and looked around in horror. He vaguely remembered smashing the train, over turning cars, and dealing with those alien creatures. He was sitting in a hole designed by his other form. He had fallen off the of the train seconds before and crashed into the street, denting the pavement greatly.

A hand stretched out to him and much to his chagrin it was Tony's.

"That was a hell of a ride," Tony teased and Bruce bit down his feelings. Thoughts of screaming at Tony filled him up to the brim. He was overflowing with emotions, but the question at the front of the all the rest was, _Really? That's the first thing you say to me in a month?_

"Here," Tony handed him some clothes. A beautiful blue shirt and tailored pants. He didn't take them, not even letting himself touch the fabric. Bruce didn't want to go back to wearing his clothes, to having Tony as a constant part of him, smelling the remnants of his cologne from the fine linen or Italian silk suits. He didn't want to be reminded of Tony everywhere he went, not anymore. That's why he had boxed up all of Tony's clothes and had gone shopping for the first time in months. He had donated Tony's clothes to the Salvation Army and returned to his ill fitting shirts, his cotton blends and jeans.

"No thanks," Bruce rejected.

"You gotta put some pants on," Tony offered, practically forcing the clothes into Bruce's hands. The embarrassment was paramount, and it was starting to get to him. People near by were gawking and snapping photos. But perhaps they were more amused with Iron Man than the naked white man in the middle of the street.

"I said no, Tony," Bruce said as nicely as he could.

"Look I know we're in _Bangkok _ and everything, I've seen the reputation, I have been here before, but come on, you'll make the rest of us uncomfortable," Tony remarked, and Bruce noticed that Tony was looking away, attempting to hand Bruce the clothes without seeing anything.

"I don't need your charity,"

"It's not charity, it's a pair of pants! You didn't have a problem with this before,"

"NATASHA!" Bruce called for her and she excused herself with communications of some Thai officers to approach them.

"What's going on?" she asked, not even blinking at Bruce's nude figure.

"Could you get me some clothes?" he asked nicely.

"Jesus Christ," Tony expelled. "Just take the suit, would you?"

"I don't want your Armani, Tony,"Bruce responded.

"What size?" She asked, paying no attention to their drama.

"He's a large but you obviously don't need to get him clothes!" Tony answered for him.

"Don't do that"

"Do what?"

"Answer for me and assume things for me! You haven't spoken to me in a month!" Bruce growled, sucking back his anger. Hoping to lock it away in the pit of his soul, praying it wouldn't possess him, not again, not so soon.

"Well we wouldn't want you to have an incident, now would we?" Tony bit back. He flew across the busy street and landed in front of a homeless man, handing him the clothes, before he flew to the sky train station, to help Steve clean up the mess.

"Large," Bruce confirmed, and within ten minutes, Barton had fetched him some clothes at Natasha's behest. He hated the outfit, but he would never let Tony know that.

He stood dressed in a _Same Same but Different _shirt, and a pair of red Thai pants, with Natasha beside him. She was speaking in near-fluent Thai to a number of security guards. Bruce turned around, gauging the damage. Steve and Tony were sweeping up some rubble, trying to clean up the highway, while Thor stood with Barton, some way off, staying away from the interrogation. He wanted to kick himself for the drama he had caused, for snapping at Tony. This was easier, he thought, just suddenly realizing how much he had missed him and how easy their friendship had once been.

"All sorted," Natasha said when Bruce tuned back in.

"What?" he asked. He looked around to find the Thai officers turned away, not exactly pleased, but it sure beat a full scale enemy attack, that much was obvious.

"We should clean up," he offered and Natasha shook her head.

"You and I need to talk,"

"About what? No...look, I made most of this mess, and Steve's cleaning-"

"You have time to talk to Steve later, it's ok," Natasha urged, a hand on his arm suddenly. "Let's go to the hotel,"

"Even Tony's cleaning, I have to help-" Bruce started, wanting to apologize to Tony.

"Yeah, he's helping for the press, the Thai people love Tony, it's publicity," Bruce turned around and sure enough every 5 seconds Tony was striking a pose for a nearby mass of camera crew and civilians who couldn't stop gawking. Steve was clearly the only one cleaning.

He was about to agree, but only because he doubted being around Steve was a good idea. Two incidents in one day would be a new record, one he didn't want to make. Instead, Tony and Steve approached them.

"I booked us all Thai massages," Tony grinned, as if he wanted an award for doing so.

"All of us?" Natasha asked, dryly.

"Yeah, we save the world, we get to relax," he confirmed, waving to Thor and Barton to join them. "No's not an option," Tony continued.

"A massage Tony? I don't know..." Steve started.

"It'll be fun,"

"You mean an actual massage right, not some weird sexual thing you are assuming is a massage?" Natasha asked in a steady voice, as if she was inquiring about the weather. Steve blushed beside her, his eyes widening before confusion took over his features.

"I have been here before you know," Tony pointed out. "Barton, Thor, you're with me-" his gaze lingered over Bruce. "I'm not gonna be caught dead with you looking like a tourist." He paused, intending to hurt Bruce. Everything had been painful. Bruce noticed that Tony was avoiding saying his name, calling him _big green, _or _the other _guy.

"Steve, you're riding shot gun," he didn't look at Bruce again, heading towards his rental car, which had been somehow spared by the damage. Tony was trying especially hard to hurt Bruce. What Bruce didn't know was that Tony had come home that night at the restaurant, and seen the tapes of him weeping in the elevator. Bruce didn't know that Tony thought Bruce was still in love with Steve. He had no clue, missing everything (even with his IQ) that Tony was using Steve to make Bruce jealous, to hurt him. Though he didn't know any of that, it hurt all the same.

* * *

The music was lulling him into relaxation. Was that harp? Bruce wondered. He was able to sink deeper into the cushions, the faint smell of lemongrass and mint flooding his nostrils. Tony Stark had to ruin his massage.

"This massage reminds me of this place in Maui, fantastic service, and they have the most amazing-" Tony's voice carried from somewhere nearby. They were all meant to be relaxing, laying down on cushioned mattresses, separated from each other only by hanging clothes. By the sound of it, Tony was only two people away. Steve was in between them, Bruce realized, when his voice cut across Tony's, shutting him up.

"I don't think we're supposed to talk," Steve said, his voice much calmer and quieter. "You should try to relax, Tony." Steve urged. It drove any thought of relaxation away from Bruce's psyche and he sulked, barely even enjoying as the masseuse worked on his calf.

"Relax! It's like she's trying to pull my leg out of it's socket! Is anyone else's girl doing that?" Tony asked, and just as he said it, Bruce's masseuse applied pressure, pulling his leg towards her, and then back again, stretching the limb.

"Yes," came Natasha's response. Her tone caught between pleasurable relaxation and urgency, to get Tony to shut up.

"Yours sounds better," Tony commented, "Is this what you sound like when Barton's arrow is about to enter you-"

"I will kick your ass Stark," Natasha threatened, any hint of relaxation gone in her voice.

"How are you doing big guy? Relaxed?" Tony asked, and Thor answered.

"I feel nothing," he responded truthfully. His masseuse was standing on his back, digging her heels into him, but still the norse god could barely feel it. "Call another girl over, I'll pay," Tony assured.

"Stark, shut up!" Barton called out from somewhere in the room.

"Somebody's not relaxed, was it all that talk about your arrow? Not hitting the mark lately?" Tony teased. Bruce heard Natasha speak in rapid fire Thai, instructing Tony's masseuse to hurt him. Seconds later, Tony started swearing.

"Ow! Jesus! I'm paying for this, I can talk! I'm just making sure everyone's relaxed, I'm not the bad guy!" Tony assured her.

"And good to know Norse god's can't apparently feel anything, but I was asking about big green, because if he's not relaxed-"

"I'm fine," Bruce said before he could help himself.

"You don't sound fine. Agitated almost. Distracted,"

"Maybe because you won't shut up, Stark junior," Barton retorted, sounding angrier than all of them.

"Can you take your drama somewhere else?" Barton asked. Then the silence returned, music filled the space were words had taken over and Bruce had felt himself sink deeper into relaxation, trying to forget all about Tony and why he wouldn't use his first name anymore.

"Is this working for you Natasha?" Tony asked, in a sultry voice.

"One more sex joke Stark, and I swear I'll send you flying so hard you'll go back in time and meet your father," Natasha threatened.

"Tough luck sugar, I don't even think Thor's hammer could do that," he stopped before adding, "Get it?"

"Tony, please, just relax," Steve asked. Bruce hated that it was Steve, that finally shut Tony up. He couldn't relax for the rest of the massage, and hated having spent money and gotten nothing out of it.

Natasha dragged him away from the group when they reached the hotel, pulling him to her room.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Natasha rounded on him, once the door had closed.

"What?" he asked, suddenly scared he would be subject to an interrogation.

"Tony's acting insane," she pointed out. "We were all at that massage, if you could even call it that, I don't think any of us except Tony was able to relax,"

"And how is that my fault?"

"You are breaking this team apart," she pointed out, before sighing. "But I know you can't help how you feel about him,"

"Who?"

"Steve of course-"

"I can assure I'm not-"

"I'm a spy, you can tell me, we keep secrets well,"

"I don't have feelings for Steve" Bruce laughed.

"Bruce, I know what's going on, Tony told me," she explained. His shoulders sank as he admitted the truth.

"Why I don't understand is why you are torturing yourself when they're not even together," she sighed.

"What? They're not together?" he couldn't help his tone filling with hope. He couldn't help his eyes glistening at remedying that which he had been regretting for a month.

Natasha sat down on the bed across from him, and he wondered why she and Barton were even pretending anymore. Why they were booking rooms with two beds, when the rest of the team was sure of their relationship.

It was then, that a few things finally got cleared up. Natasha told him of the awkward conversation he had left Tony and Steve with in the restaurant. More importantly, she told him that his assumptions were completely wrong, and that Tony was starting down a spiral. One they wouldn't see the end of for some time.

* * *

"Do you believe that guy? You and me-" Steve laughed, watching Bruce disappear.

"Insane," Tony admitted. He turned his attention to a passing waiter and requested that he leave the bottle. He had already had 3 glasses of the Scotch since Bruce had left, without the jacket Tony had given him. That was a sign clear as any, he was leaving Tony behind.

"Wasn't that illegal in your time?"

"They were killing a lot of good people for no reason, if that's what you mean," Steve said, suddenly defensive.

"Yeah, well good old Brucey's got it wrong"

"This is going change things, isn't it?" Steve asked slowly.

"Do you see fortune teller written across my forehead?" Tony snapped, guzzling another drink, giving the Scotch none of the attention it deserved.

"Tony, I'm trying to help," Steve said, in earnest.

"Yeah well, why don't you go chase after him then?" Tony asked.

"What?"

"He's clearly in love with you," Tony responded. "Even you can see that, with _your IQ_"

Steve exhaled heavily, soaking in some of the anger Bruce had left behind.

"I am sick and tired of jokes about my intelligence, I'm from an earlier time, and Bruce is not in love with me,"

"Please, it's obvious," Tony responded.

"Is that your 5th drink?"

"Good counting, what is your IQ? 60? 80?" Tony asked with a sneer, forcing the liquid into his mouth.

"I can't believe he thought were...you know... I can't stand you, It's a miracle we work together"

"I can't stand you super soldier, run after the one guy who can,"

"Just push people away why don't you! The people that care about you!" Steve emphasized.

"Bruce cares more about you, and you hate me, we know that,"

"Bruce thinks differently,"

"I've got the higher IQ, so we're going with my theory, all aboard, _Captain,"_ he said, his tone heavily caked with disdain, outfitted too wsalute sarcastic salute.

"Tony-"

"I am sorry to arrive late," their bickering was interrupted as Thor walked up to the table, holding in his hand a large barrel of wine, as if it was a small bottle. In the other, he held his Hammer.

"Jesus, do you ever leave that thing at home?" Tony asked

"Just in time, actually. What was the hold up?" Steve questioned, glad to have a reason to stop fighting with Tony.

"Loki," Thor breathed out heavily, sitting on a chair that creaked under his weight, as if it was about to snap into a pile of twigs at any moment.

"He's still alive?" Steve asked.

"I was dealing with his child"

"That maniac has a kid?" Tony asked, not one for sensitivity as yet another drink grazed his lips.

"Yes, my father's horse," Thor explained, pulling Bruce's plate towards him, he picked up the salmon as if it was a hamburger and started on the food.

"Wait, HORSE?" Tony asked suddenly.

"That's his KID?" Steve squinted.

"Like a pony? like-" Tony made clicking horse noises, imitating riding with a dazed look on his face.

"The very one," Thor agreed. " Loki got himself turned into a horse years ago and -"

"I'm not gonna ask," Steve shrugged.

"No wait, a HORSE?" Tony specified, sure the god was joking, or confused.

"Do you not have this word in your realm?" Thor asked.

"We don't have people turning into horses in our realm," Steve explained.

"Don't forget Steve, they're gods,"

"Can you counter everything I say?"

"Can you not break the heart of my best friend?" Tony snapped, downing his 6th drink. "This reunion is boring," he stood suddenly.

"I just arrived," Thor countered.

"You missed all the drama. Bruce has got the hots for Steve-"

"He doesn't like me!" Steve countered.

"Oh come on!" Tony shouted suddenly. "You really can't see it? He was tearing up as he was saying it, he thinks you like me, so he's sacrificing his own goddamn happiness, f**king martyr," Tony growled, his anger directed at Bruce's jacket.

"I'm leaving," he picked up the jacket and stormed out of the restaurant. Later that night, he would email the tapes of Bruce's crying in the elevator to Steve, to reaffirm his point. Unfortunately, Bruce's pain would bring Steve and Tony together, and they would try to find a way to make it right.

* * *

"So they're only seeing each other almost every day because they want to help me?" Bruce asked Natasha skeptically, pulled away from the memory.

"Spare me the lies, I can handle the pain," Bruce laughed the idea of, shrugging it away.

"I'm serious," she responded.

"I should have kept my composure in that elevator," he said reviewed her account of the night in his head and hated himself all the more for not having called Tony. He knew something was up, he wondered if he could fix it. He wondered where to start.

"Look, I usually don't meddle," Natasha breathed out loud. "But this is getting serious, Pepper's calling me everyday, Tony hasn't left the Tower since that - restaurant debacle, and I'm surprised he came tonight. He hasn't made a single public appearance, and you know how rare that is-"

"Well he does have 4 hotels in Bangkok," Bruce shrugged. Natasha laughed, shaking her head.

"He wanted to come fight together, all of us," she emphasized.

"Look, let me make it clearer, he's emptied his cache of alcohol, and Pepper says that he's unmanageable, worse than usual," she paused. "He really misses you, you bring out the good in him."

"He misses me? He hasn't called me!" Bruce defended.

"Tony pushes people he cares about away from him, you know that,"

"They're really not together?" he asked again, slowly.

"No, Steve's worried that you're in love with him and doesn't know how to act around you, he was asking Tony's advice, I'm surprised Tony's even speaking to him, or anyone for that matter. You saw him today, he was on edge."

"You're sure it's not something more?" Bruce asked, skeptically.

"Look, I can read people, trust me. Steve is lost and Tony's heartbroken without his best friend. ," Natasha encouraged.

"Tony doesn't have a heart," Bruce laughed to himself.

"That's not true,"

"No I mean, literally, physically as an entity," Bruce breathed out. "I was trying to make a joke," he shrugged. "I'll go fix it" he promised, standing.

"Where is he?" Bruce asked, careful not to specify which one.

"At the bar," she responded.

* * *

"That was great what you did back there," Steve said, sitting at the hotel bar beside Tony.

"It was just a few photos and a broom stick," Tony responded, nursing the glass of whiskey.

"No, not that,"

"The massage was less than ten dollars, I can do without the thank you parade,"

"Actually, I meant when you were looking out for Bruce. This whole past month, you've been incredible. I know you two are fighting and you've got issues, but I can tell you're trying to help him. I noticed you were trying to set us up at the skytrain" Steve admitted.

"He's my best friend," Tony admitted. "I just want him to be happy," he said, staring at the bottles behind the bar, his eyes glazed over as he took another sip of the strong drink.

"And you're welcome,"

"Oh, I'm not thanking you for that, Iron Man. You left me alone with the most awkward conversation I've ever had," Steve admitted.

"With the one person who has the potential to turn into a green rage monster," Tony pointed out. Steve laughed at the joke appropriately, and wondered how long it would take Tony to clue into what he was really saying under all the subtext.

"He's very smart," Steve started, staring at his beer for the courage to say what he wanted to.

"Yup," Tony agreed, reviewing in his mind the last four weeks, and just how far he'd fallen. How dismantled he had become after one night. He needed to make sure he didn't return home without a drink in his cabinet. He would have to go shopping.

"And he was right Tony," Steve whispered. "Look I didn't think he was, but -" Steve cleared his throat, and called Tony's attention back to him.

"Right about what?" Tony asked, placing his drink down for the first time since they'd come to the bar. He'd always had a glass in his hand for the last month, it seemed. Until he'd drained his prized collection, that was.

"Look, this isn't easy to say so-" Steve finished his beer and placed it on the counter, looking at Tony.

"What's with the mystery?" Tony asked. "Out with it,"

"He was right about you and I," Steve said suddenly. Then his confidence dissolved and he retreated from his words in an instant. Tony laughed loudly, looking around the bar to see if anyone else was in on the joke.

"You're kidding," Tony laughed.

"I wish I was,"

"We hate each other,"

"No we don't," Steve promised. "I've gotten to know you, I knew your father-"

"Jesus-"

"Tony, just listen, please, let me get this out?" Steve asked. Tony fixed him with an attentive stare and that only made Steve more nervous. "He spoke highly of you, ok? I've seen how you are this past month at the Stark tower, and If I'm honest with myself, it started before that, you're a good person, you are a genius,"

"Well that's obvious," Tony agreed, nodding. Steve gave out a laugh, full of nervousness and fear.

"What are you saying?"

"Look there's a reason Bruce said what he did, and yeah maybe it was a sacrifice, but it wasn't worth it if we don't-"

"You're saying you want to be together?" Tony asked. "I can't believe I'm having this conversation,"

"It's not fair for all of us to be in pain,"

"Yeah well, life's not fair," Tony omitted.

"I'm not talking about myself, I could care less about how I feel, I just really _need _to see you happy again," Steve promised.

"Why do we all have to be heroes or martyrs about this?" Tony asked dramatically.

"Fine, I won't be," Steve promised.

Bruce could understand cellular structure, and radiation and chemistry. He knew science better than he knew himself, and he knew it was all about timing. There was no reason for the events to unfold as they did, perhaps without his comments at the restaurant everything would have turned out differently. But he was the catalyst. He arrived at the bar, his face suspended in a stupid smile, his heart rate speeding faster than he could count it just at the idea of seeing Tony. He saw him, and just as he was about to call out and say something, he stopped, paralyzed for some reason. As if he could sense what was about to happen.

"You won't be a martyr?" Tony asked at the bar, out of Bruce's hearing. Steve didn't give him a response, not a verbal one at least. He leaned forward, placed his hand on Tony's neck.

"No," he whispered, before he kissed him. Unaware that Bruce was watching them, Tony relaxed. He fell into the kiss, found his hands winding into Steve's hair to pull him in.

* * *

[tbc]

AN: Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know if you spot any huge grammar/spelling errors, mistakes in characterization or gaping plot holes. Thank you for your readership, you have no idea what it means to me!

{love and loki!}


	3. Honor or Happiness

AN: In the last chapter, there was a subtle reference to a conversation in the following video, it takes place Between a German TV Host, Ruffalo, Hiddleston and Hemsworth. It starts 11:34 seconds in, . ?contentId=131073

Thank you for reading, sorry this chapter took so long.

* * *

Roosters cooed and the hum of the air conditioner seemed louder even than the traffic outside. Tony groaned, face down in his pillow as he blinked slowly, coming to terms with his location. He was in a bed, that much was certain, but how he had gotten there was something he had yet to figure out. Still it was soft, and smelled faintly of peppermint and chocolate. He was in a hotel room, he knew, the same hotel he'd been staying at, and that was a comfort to his sobering state. Waking up was painful, and moving proved to be even worse, but he had to shut up that damn air conditioner, so he could go back to sleep and keep that horrible headache away.

He groaned, shifting to grab the other pillow. He yanked it towards him and didn't bother looking as he threw the pillow towards the air conditioner, hoping it would shut up it's loud humming. It was a ill thought out plan. Instead, he hit someone who had been asleep moments before in an arm chair. Tony heard a low grumble, as his guest awoke, and the sudden noise paralyzed Tony.

"Who's there?" Tony's words were muffled by the pillow, whispered in his confused state. He didn't t know where he was, or with whom, and though not uncommon in the last month, it did give him pause enough for terrified thought.

"Ow...It's Steve, morning to you too," Steve responded, at a volume much louder than acceptable for the situation.

"Steve? Who the f**k is Steve?" Tony asked, and then it came back to him. The pause was torturous for Steve, who had stayed with Tony all night. Something that Tony would soon learn.

"What am I doing in your room?" Tony asked, the weight of the alcohol still on his mind. Before Steve could respond, or even defend himself against morning Tony assailing him, the billionaire continued with his questions, asking the most important one.

"Did we do it?" Tony asked, as he felt himself up.

" What?" Steve asked, afraid he already knew what Tony was asking.

"Sex, yes or no? Did we have it?"

Tony discovered that he was on the covers, still in his three piece suit. His tie hung around his neck loosely and he tried to piece together the evening. Had they made out? Had he fallen asleep somehow in the middle of it? Or did he put his suit on post coitus to go back to his room? Was the tie crucial to the night's events and flirtation. Uncertain as to how he felt about the whole affair, though he vaguely remembered Steve's lips against his. When that was, he was still figuring out. The silence seemed to drum on his mind, as he waited for a response. It was as if each noise was amplified, in the absence of a response, but Steve's outrage came seconds later, in tune of course, with his honor.

"WHAT! NO! I would never, I uh- you were passed out- NO!" Steve responded, as if the thought had never crossed his mind. If Tony had opened his eyes, he would have seen the Captain blushing. But, the response was too loud for Tony to bear, so he submerged himself into the pillows further. He tried to hide from the noise of the busy city, the memories of last night, dominated by black outs.

"How can we hear the traffic? We're on the 15th floor and I can hear..." he paused, groaning as he lifted his head up out of the pillow. It smelled vaguely of something he knew he could place, but he gave up trying to figure it out, yet to find out they were in another Avenger's room.

He focused instead on deciphering the song blaring from the taxi on the street below. "Billie Jean," he finished, letting himself flop back onto the bed.

"Why am I in your room?" Tony asked again, rolling onto his back. He attempted to open one eye and then squinted in pain, groaning as the light hovered over his features

"What happened? I feel like I'm in _The Hangover"_.

"You've got a bad one," Steve responded, missing the reference.

"Actually it was a joke...it's a movie...never mind" Tony groaned, it was too early to deal with generation gaps, and he was still deciphering the events of last night. He wasn't sure if he'd just insulted the Captain, and told him it was too early to deal with him. He would find out if he had said that aloud, judging by Steve's tone when he responded. He would just wait, hoping Steve's words would tell him how much of an ass he was being.

"We're in Bruce's room," Steve answered, soothingly. "You passed out,"

"How?" he bit back a dozen insults, the urge to say _obvious, _or even _no shit Sherlock. _So they were in Bruce's room, he realized. Cringing as he finally placed the smell he had tried to decipher before as Bruce's cologne. Recognizing it made Tony angry, it reminded him of how long it had been since they had spoken properly. He grew with fury at the thought of his once best friend, with whom he rarely spoke now, and he made a quick decision not to let anything Bruce did bother him ever again.

Perhaps, he thought, Steve would be his new best friend, as he was being rather helpful, answering every question where Pepper would have just laughed, slapped Tony on the wrist and told him just the important details, never indulging his whims. Still he couldn't stop the pang in his heart that longed to see Bruce.

"Drinking game with Thor," Steve responded, the chair creaked suddenly as Steve shifted in it, to make himself more comfortable. He was still waking up.

"He won, didn't he? I want a rematch," Tony grumbled, knowing that much.

"Tony, you should get better first," Steve pointed out.

"Yeah, better at drinking"

"Tony, you have to stop this reckless behavior" responded a condescending tone that Tony did not welcome this early in the morning. Actually, one he never welcomed. Also, he didn't like that the soldier was ignoring the joke, or perhaps he was too dim to get it, he thought cruelly. He missed Bruce suddenly, and again, but he buried the feeling, resolving to hate Bruce, because that was easier than whatever feeling was trying to control him. He would beat it, he knew, not one to indulge his fickle emotions, anger was easier, and Bruce no longer deserved his friendship. He would deal with that after he dealt with Steve though, who was quickly losing best friend points.

"Just because you knew my dad, you don't get to lecture me," Tony pointed out, his hands gesturing and moving from where he lay on the bed, his eyes still shut tightly. The hot sun glared, the light seeping in through the crack in the curtains, and though he was awake, Tony did not want to deal with that yet.

"BRUCE?" Tony asked, unable to stop his tone from being hopeful.

"He left,"

"Ah, getting me coffee?" Tony asked. If it was true, he wondered, would he even accept the gesture?

"He's back in Bulgaria," Steve responded. "As I was saying," Steve sighed, now realizing how much work the billionaire would be. "Thor brought you here, Bruce called me and said you were asking for me-"

"Was I? Why? I don't think I would do that," Tony pointed out, no censor to his cruel side in these moments.

"Well, Bruce said you did," Steve responded. "Besides, I thought it made sense, considering what happened last night-" Steve started.

"You also thought that outfit made sense in the 40s, or that a four engine plane with the ability to camouflage into any background was just made powered by _electricity_, you know what's wrong with you Soldier boy-" Tony sat up, opening his eyes to make his point, but he cringed and shut them again, abandoning his speech.

"We didn't do anything last night," he confirmed, fearful that they had.

"Well...no," Steve responded. "We kissed, though"

"At the bar," Tony asked, prying an eye open against the harsh light to look at Steve.

"Yeah, at the bar"

"And you're so attached that you've stayed with me all night?"

"I was taking care of you," Steve responded, shifting awkwardly against Tony's sudden attention.

"Honorable and everything...but unnecessary. Where's that coffee?" Tony abandoned his staring contest with Steve, and picked up the hotel phone. He pressed zero before listing off his usual breakfast menu for the last month.

"Three espresso, a red bull and one of those funny little fruits, bright pink...dragon fruits, that's the one" he ordered before hanging up. He finally found his feet, standing and feeling the familiar pull of vertigo as his body adjusted to the sudden change of blood flow.

"Tony-"

"Don't scold me about the caffeine, I'll leave the Avengers " Tony half joked, not looking forward to another lecture.

"You clearly have your priorities straight then," Steve said, dryly.

"Wait...did you say Bruce is in Bulgaria?" Tony asked, ignoring the attempt at a jab. Or perhaps, he thought, Steve just wanted attention.

"Well, considering the events of yesterday. Can you blame him? He looked-" Steve paused, as if too be cautious around an invisible Bruce. How Steve could be more sensitive to someone who wasn't there, Tony couldn't even fathom, wishing Steve had insight enough to have ordered him coffee earlier.

"Upset to say the least," Steve shrugged, trying to be intuitive.

"He's not in Bulgaria" Tony responded suddenly, knowledgeably. Suddenly, last night rushed back to him in sober clarity. That's why he had been drinking, he remembered, and suddenly he felt he needed something a lot stronger than coffee.

* * *

Bruce found it hard to breathe. He should look away, he knew. He should bolt and run for it, but he couldn't move. He clenched his fist, feeling a change in his cells. Even he couldn't tell if he was about to Hulk out and strangle Steve, throw him against the bottles in the bar, or if he was about to weep. He tried to take in breaths, but it felt like poisonous gas was around him. His tongue was dry, heavy in his mouth. Seconds before he had been playing a reel of fantasies in his mind, images of being with Tony. They were all burning now, surpassed by this repeating moment, that was still continuing, that seemed as if it would never end, didn't they at least need to break for air?

He told himself that this was what he had been training himself to accept for the past month. Maybe Natasha had been wrong, he thought, and they had been together all along, as he'd suspected. But there was no avoiding the truth, this was a first kiss. The nervousness of the lean in, the submission, the startled expression Tony held as Steve kissed him, all pointed to that.

Bruce wished he had taken the stairs, raced down the hall, that he hadn't stopped at Natasha's door and thanked her. He just hoped he had gotten here sooner. Somehow the knowing that Steve and Tony hadn't been together seconds before was even more tragic than thinking they had been together all along. He had been right, he thought, trying to laugh at his misery. At least he had been smart enough to see their signs. He hoped this would make Tony happy. He had been ready to do this a month ago, he reminded himself. He tried to ignore how bad he had felt the last month, how he had wished desperately to go back to the moment in the restaurant and take his foot of his mouth, remove all blessings for Steve and Tony. He tried to ignore that he would have given anything to prevent it from happening. Now, the second time, it hurt even more, the pain was worse because hope had been snuffed out in a matter of moments. He doubted he would make it to the elevator before he broke down.

Then, finally, they pulled away. They smiled at each other for a moment, each unable to explain the emotions surging through them.

"Bruce," Steve said suddenly.

"Nice try, but I'm the funny one remember?" Tony commented, going back to his drink.

"No...Bruce is right there," Steve pointed out, his eyes suddenly meeting Bruce's. By the time Tony looked up, Bruce was gone.

He was running towards the elevator. Unable to keep his mind clear. He kept repeating it, locking eyes with Steve. The only image that really stood out, was how happy Tony looked. He'd smiled and returned to his drink. Bruce hadn't been able to face it. He knew in a second Tony's eyes would have met his. He would have looked at him with that nauseating pity, or perhaps something worse. Perhaps Tony was still blind to it, maybe he too believed that Bruce was madly in love with Steve. All that mattered though, was that Tony actually was.

He pounded on her door, unable to stop the tears now.

"JUST A SECOND," came a frantic shout. Barton's voice. Seconds later he appeared, about to offer some excuse to cover up their obvious behavior, but his smile disintegrated.

"Jesus Christ, are you alright?" Clint asked.

"Oh my god," Natasha commented.

"It didn't go well," Bruce grumbled in a low voice, coming into the room. He was surprised he could see through his tears.

"I'll get you a drink," Natasha responded. Seconds later, a glass was in his hand. he drank it without even looking at it, cringing at the bitter taste. He panted heavily, pacing to keep his heart rate steady. There was enough anger in him for an attack, but it sat beneath pain and heartbreak. As long as it stayed there, he could be Bruce Banner for a while longer.

"What did Steve say?" Natasha asked. Clint sat on a bed nearby. He watched Bruce like a hawk, attentive, not a trace of his awkwardness on the surface. Bruce's eyes darted to Clint. He had been ready to divulge his secrets to Natasha, but he didn't know if he wanted Clint to know. He didn't need anyone else to see him this way. Natasha, he knew, could handle it. Clint seemed to sense the tension, and that he was the cause of silence, so he excused himself easily.

"Tasha, I'm gonna go see Thor," Clint whispered, as if he was afraid his words would push Bruce over the edge. She nodded and the door shut seconds later.

"It's not Steve," Bruce responded, getting increasingly frustrated with everyone saying he was in love with Steve.

"Oh god, What did Tony do? He didn't rub it in your face did he? He's an ass, he doesn't see feelings, he's a playboy and for a genius, he's surprising stupi-"

"Don't any of you even listen?" Bruce asked, his voice straining with sudden emotion. She went quiet, watching him for signs that he would have an attack.

"Shhh, it's ok, just talk," she tried to calm him down, as if terrified that just talking about Tony would make him hulk out. He sat down on her bed and nodded.

"I am not in love with Steve," he pointed out, taking deep breaths, calming himself.

"Ok, we don't have to use the word _love_," she offered, in a gentle, soft tone. One that screamed pity.

"No, I mean, he's great and everything, actually no, he's not, he's arrogant and he's so cruel to Tony, and -" he stopped suddenly, just thinking about Steve was making him angrier.

"I shouldn't hate him, but I do," he sounded out, grinding his teeth, repeating a mantra in his head. _Calm down,_ he told himself. _It's useless to attack Natasha because you're jealous of Steve. Be logical, and reasonable, you are better than this._

"I don't understand," she replied, honest. "Why do you hate Steve?" He sighed, breathing out slowly and shrugged, ready to finally admit the truth.

"It was easier to pretend to be in love with Steve, or let everyone believe it, instead of the truth,"

"Which is?"

"It's T-" he sighed, shaking his head. He adjusted his glasses, pushing them further up his face as he sucked in a breath. "It's Tony, it's always been Tony. You know that day when I almost attacked you? On the plane?" he specified.

"Yeah, because Loki had been trying to piss you off, his scept-"

"It was nothing to do with Loki. I convinced myself it was him, but I was jealous, and angrier than usual just because of the way that Steve was looking at Tony," he shrugged.

"You've known since then?" she asked, and then bit her tongue as if she shouldn't have even asked.

"I suspected, but I didn't really realize I was in love with Tony until he-" his voice broke and he shook his head.

"It's stupid you know, he's such an ass about the other guy, the hulk," he spoke passively, as if each word was a delicate secret. His words were soft, and anger was dissolving from the foreground of his mind. Soon, he would be able to think about Steve without fear of hulking out. Whether he could ever work with them again, was a whole other dilemma.

"But the other guy saved him. I mean..all that emotion, what I felt for him transcended the monster, I was able to save him when he was falling from the portal. Oh and tony will never tell you he's a hero, but he went up with that missile" he paused, a sad smile suspended on his lips, as if this was all he had ever wanted to tell Tony.

"When I'm the other guy I don't see much, it's all a cloud, a haze really. All smashing and growling, but I remember feeling so angry at the sheer thought of him dying. I remember feeling terror and worry, and before I could understand it, the other guy had saved him. Tony's the only one to ever really be himself around me, no walls up, and I guess how I feel about him transcended the monster….It's almost as if the Hulk knew before I did," he shrugged.

She surprised him, not picking up on the word _love_, or even commenting on how long he had felt this way, instead she justified,

"Well, he is technically more in tune with your emotions, Doctor,"

Before Natasha could say anything there was a knock on the door. Bruce wiped his tears away aggressively, but there was no mistaking how red and swollen his eyes were. Anyone could take one look at him and see that he had been a slave to his emotions.

"Hey," Steve's voice carried from the door, where Natasha held it open ajar.

"Is he here?" he asked slowly.

"It wouldn't be a good idea to see you," Natasha responded.

"God he saw us," Steve exhaled.

"Saw you do what?" Natasha asked. Bruce could sense it would all get messier in a matter of seconds. "Wait, he didn't talk about how he felt?" Natasha asked, and thankfully, she left out names.

"No, Tony and I were at the bar, and I kissed him, we were talking about how Bruce was right and-"

"Ok stop there," Natasha instructed. "He will deal with it," she responded, as his advocate.

"I want to make it right," Steve suggested.

"I appreciate that Captain, but you need to go." She shut the door seconds later and focused her attention back onto Bruce.

"You saw them kiss?" she asked for confirmation. He nodded slowly. She sighed, shaking her head at the mess.

"This is worse than I thought, What are you going to do?" she asked.

"Leave as soon as possible,"

"So you're just going to let this happen? You should tell him-"

"No, you didn't see him. He looked happy, and that's all I want,"

"You sure you can't stay?"

"Trust me, it's better I go than I smash Steve until he has to be frozen for another 70 years to recover,"

"Are you sure about this?"

"Look, I know him, and Tony's a playboy, but Steve is crazy about him. This way, I won't get hurt...well it won't hurt as much," Bruce tried, shrugging.

"Bruce, I'm sorry," she nodded, sympathizing, though she wasn't one for falling in love and getting lost in emotions.

"It's a mess, and it's my own fault," Bruce laughed. "I started this, I basically told them to be together." He placed the empty glass on her bedside table, standing up to leave.

"Thank you for everything," he said, as his parting remark. Natasha sighed, listening to the hum of traffic below, as Bruce disappeared through her door.

* * *

Tony was still drinking since Steve had left him at the bar. The music that flooded the place was a slow rock, the words meshing together as he ordered yet another whiskey. He had already stripped off his jacket and placed it on the back of his chair. Resolved to relax, or perhaps abandon any pretense of etiquette and high class.

His tie hung loosely around his neck, his own doing, rather than some flirtatious act of Steve's. He groaned at the thought of it all, their horrible misguided emotional drama. It made him sick, he mused as he took a sip. Ah, the liquid went down with a sting, healing him. He cleared his throat and reviewed the events. He was promised happiness by someone who kissed him, and then promptly departed to chase after Bruce Banner. Bruce, he groaned at the idea of Bruce, rage filling him as he took a larger gulp this time, hating the guy. The friend who'd left him, ditched him for Captain F**king America. Who, in his defense, was a very good kisser. But here he was, alone, without a best friend, or a boyfriend. So much for having a connection with Bruce. He growled at the thought of Steve, and his fix-everything attitude, his morals. He decided, as he took another sip, alcohol would be his only friend.

As if on cue, the Norse God appeared, his hair larger than usual, an indication that he had been mucking around with the hair dryer in the room. Somehow, the look suited him. He made no effort to blend in, still clad in his traditional dress, whereas Tony had swapped iron for silk right after the massage.

"Shall I challenge you to a drinking match?" Thor asked, as he sat down at the bar, beside him. "And may I ask you, for what tiny people are the hair products in the toilets?" Thor continued, referring of course to the bathroom and the small shampoo samples.

"They're for us," Tony responded, too angry or hurt to come up with a witty retort. _Something must be wrong with me,_ he thought, before he emptied the glass.

"Surely a human uses more than this?" Thor asked, trying to gauge if it was a joke or not.

Tony thought of passing on the drinking match, and that terrified him. He wanted to run from these feelings, the terror that started in his mind whenever he thought of Bruce's back turned on him. Or how upset he had looked at the restaurant, his words at the sky train. Tony finished his third drink of the night and smiled to Thor weakly. He would find a new best friend.

"How about that challenge or are you a horse's uncle?" he teased, ordering them some drinks. The joke passed over Thor's head, as his response was focused more on the impending match of drinking skills.

"You dare challenge me, son of Odin to a drinking game?" Thor laughed. "Something must ail you indeed," Thor commented, but accepted nonetheless.

"Yeah, it does" Tony commented before the drinks arrived.

Tony didn't want to think about it. About hurting Bruce, or about Steve's desperate emotions. It was all a disaster. He hated all of it, he hated being in the middle of it, and how he hadn't seen Bruce for a month. It was eating him up alive and here he was, shamelessly kissing the Captain and hurting Bruce even more. He didn't know if he could stand the idea of Steve and Bruce. But unlike them, he knew he wasn't noble enough to sacrifice himself so they could be together. He would never be that guy, and he was surprised Steve even liked him. Clearly, the guy didn't know him well enough, and Bruce, who did, had of course picked Steve. He just wanted to disappear, they would all be better off without him.

He finished the pint, much later than Thor, who just laughed at the attempt, slapping a hand on his back.

"Another," Tony called.

"Man of Iron, this is not a wise decision, I counsel you against it," Thor started.

"Counsel all you want, Hercules, I want a rematch," Tony responded. But all Tony really wanted was to drink until he saw darkness and he couldn't remember what his own tongue tasted like, let alone Steve's.

* * *

Furious monsoon rains started outside of Bruce's window, and he cherished tomorrow, when he would be far away from here. More than that, he would be far away from Tony and Steve. The negative emotions and anger felt that afternoon had been washed away with his reading. He hadn't drowned his sorrows in drinks, but instead focused his attention on changing his flight, making it earlier and submerging himself into equations and the written word. He only had to get through tonight, and then he would be free from it. He could start to recover. His emotions and the monster that surfaced with them would stop controlling him. He would be able to be himself again, even though the only person to fully accept him couldn't be in the picture.

There was a loud banging on his door, as if a chair was being hurled at it. He put down his book (_Advanced Gamma Radiation)_ that had been calming his nerves and jumped up to open the door. Thor stood in the frame, moving sideways slightly, with a passed out Tony Stark slung over his shoulder. He entered without any invitation, carrying Tony far too easily.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Bruce asked. Thor didn't think the question justified a response and slumped the passed out Iron Man onto Bruce's bed.

"Thor, no you can't, this isn't a good idea-" Bruce started to protest.

"I bid you farewell, Doctor" Thor just said, as departure. He bowed comically in his buzzed state before he shut the door behind him.

"This is going to end very badly," Bruce said to himself.

Bruce would find out later, that Tony had been telling Thor that the cure for any hangover, was the right chemicals. "It all boils down to science" Tony had told him so time before their fourth drink. Thor, unfamiliar with Midgardian science, had surprisingly remembered, and had taken Tony to the best expert conscious. As he was completely unaware of their drama he saw no reason that he shouldn't bring the passed out hero to his best friend.

The other guy, the one rooted and born out of emotion wanted to stay with Tony. He wanted to wake him, to tell him everything, but he knew it would be torturous, he would just be inflicting pain on himself. Tony could never listen, and Bruce knew he had to take care of him, but he thought that meant he could not be there. He completely believed that Tony would not want him here. He fought with himself for some time, watchingTony for some time, his shallow breathing and the sound of the furious rains outside, as Bruce debated his next actions. Tony groaned as he slept through what were surely nightmares, and Bruce was starting to put off what he knew he had to do. Bruce lost track of time, loosing himself in his own desperate emotional turmoil, only amplified by the fierce weather outside. Then, finally, he knew he could not wait any longer. Bruce approached his best friend, hoping he would change his own mind before it was too late. He couldn't control his hand, as much as he wanted to, the one that reached out and delved into Tony's pocket and fished out his phone.

He was hitting bottom again, and he knew, that if he tried to take a bullet, the other guy would save him. That was a matter for a different place, though and he had to do what was right first. He would make sure Tony was ok, answered for, taken care of, and then he would deal with fighting his own monsters. His chest pained him as he dialed 1 and listened to the seemingly never ending ringing.

"Tony!" the voice greeted him with no other emotion than happiness.

"Pepper, it's Bruce" he responded, keeping his voice steady. He stood up, and had meant to pace, but was paralyzed watching Tony sleep on the bed.

"What's happened?" he could tell she was trying to keep fear out of her tone, with little success.

"Nothing to be concerned about. Tony's been drinking. He's gotten into a bit of a bad place. Natasha told me you were keeping track of it," he responded and she breathed out.

"I don't know if I'm relieved" she revealed, honestly. "Any idea how much he's had?"

"From what I can tell it was a drinking competition with Thor-" he waited a beat as Pepper evaluated the information. Her curses silent, before she spoke.

"What brought it on?"

"What do you mean? Natasha said he's been pretty bad lately"

"He got better before the trip" Pepper stated, in a neutral tone, as if her worrying was masked.

"Look, I've got it under control, he's still in the hotel, and he's passed out, so it's fine" he answered, evading the question. It's not that he wanted to spare her, he just really didn't want to say it aloud.

"Good," Pepper responded, before prompting him again. "Nothing triggered him?" she asked.

"Well..." Bruce started. He swallowed and forced himself to look away from Tony's sleeping form. He focused on the floor and cleared his throat, slowly saying the words aloud and getting one step closer to admitting it to himself. "I don't know exactly what it was, but it must have been sometime after he kissed Steve-"

"WHAT!" Pepper interrupted. He heard her exhale slowly. Bruce allowed himself a quick glance at Tony, who groaned and rolled over in his sleep. Then Bruce headed towards his bag and folded in the few items that had been in the bathroom and strewn around the room.

"I knew he was reckless, but he kissed Steve? How much did he have to drink?"

"No, it's not like that" Bruce had to admit. "One drink, maybe two, he kissed Steve...well because they like each other and I think –" he stopped, sensing his voice would break.

"He was sober?" Pepper asked.

"Yeah...he...I mean he decided to kiss him and-" Bruce stopped, unable to take saying any more, but Pepper had heard enough as well.

"I should go," she said abruptly, and the line went dead.

Bruce cringed as he called Steve. He resisted looking through the speed dial, afraid of seeing where Tony's affection had been placed.

Somehow he didn't mind at all, that he had woken up Captain America, and he knew his jealousy and emotions were starting to get the better of him again.

"Yeah?" Steve asked, drowsily.

"Sorry to wake you," Bruce said, staring at the clock. He had spent more time than he'd thought, just watching Tony sleep. "Tony's passed out," Bruce told him. "He keeps asking for you," he lied.

"Where are you?" Steve asked, worry replaced his fatigue.

"Room 1567" Bruce responded. He closed the phone and placed it beside Tony, resisting the urge to kiss him on the forehead, to touch his hair.

Instead he grabbed his bag and took one last look at the room, at Tony sleeping on the bed. If he was lucky, he thought, this would be the last he would see him for a long time. He needed to heal, he needed to get over his emotional issues and be on the Avengers productively, and he would start to get over Tony Stark.

There was a knock on the door and he rose to answer it, hoping Steve would just take the room key and let him go. Of course, the Captain would never let him do that.

"Thank you" Steve said, polite as Captain Canada, when Bruce opened the door.

"No problem" Bruce responded, hoping Steve would not to anything that triggered an attack. He didn't care about hurting the Captain, his jealousy enough to make him explode at any second, if he ever hurt Tony, he knew he would try to commit suicide until he succeeded.

He handed Steve the room key and resisted looking back over his shoulder to Tony, knowing that he should avoid any contact with the billionaire until he was able to control his emotions again.

"You should stay, you're his friend" Steve said, feeling out of depth to cope with the awkward situation and the unconscious billionaire on the bed.

"You're his boyfriend" Bruce managed through clenched teeth. He was filled with the urge to run, and he couldn't wait to get out of there. Each moment was slow and torturous, each second pulling him towards emotions he didn't want to be feeling. He had to get out of this mess, and that meant running. Steve, of course, wouldn't let things go so easily, and the awkwardness of the conversation only amplified the feeling that time was slowing down, and that Bruce was going to lose control. Bruce said everything with a swift abrasive manner, too tired and wrought to care about his tone, or how Steve felt. He had done the right thing, Tony would be taken care of, and that was all that mattered, and obviously all that he could handle.

Steve sighed heavily, his eyes darting over the hideous maroon of the walls, or the green silk bed sheets, anywhere but Bruce.

"I wanted to apologize-"

"For what? It's not about me" Bruce brushed off, knowing an apology would take even more time. Steve's incessant need for chivalry and honor would cause more time to pass, and more feelings to surface, and that would just end in another incident. One that the unconscious Tony Stark could not defend himself against.

"All the same, Doctor Banner...Bruce, you're an amazing guy, you shouldn't leave"

"I'd be a third wheel" Bruce pointed out, eyeing the door anxiously. He steadied his breathing and looked at Steve with a certain annoyance that he couldn't mask, not when he was trying to submerge so many feelings. He repeated mantras in his head and counted the candles in the room, all the while thinking that Steve should just get out of the way. The thought was applicable to many aspects of his life, he thought cruelly.

"Tony cares about you, I wanted to say that..." Awkwardness was pouring off of Steve Rogers like never before and he was finding it hard to breathe. He knew Tony was disappointed in him, he knew that he had failed Bruce too. Right now, he just felt as if everything was going to hell around him and he couldn't stop it. Steve needed to make things right, and he would keep Bruce there until he had. It was an explosion waiting to happen.

"I appreciate that, but he was asking for you" Bruce lied

"You can't just leave" Steve tried in earnest. He needed to make Bruce understand, to make him stay. He wondered if Bruce knew how much Tony cared about him, how much he had talked about him and thought about him in the last month. It was enough to make a guy jealous, and he wondered if that would make Bruce like Tony again.

"Tony really cares about you, this past month at the tower, he's really missed you and I know he wants his frie-" he started, but the tone in which Bruce cut him off was close to anger, and anger would trigger the beast, so it shut up Steve accordingly, and quickly.

"I can do more help in the lab in Burgas," Bruce responded. Steve sighed out heavily, still trying to fight off the awkwardness and remedy the situation wrought with the feelings of despair that he didn't care to deal with.

"You shouldn't have seen- I'm sorry, you're fantastic, I just- he's-" Steve breathed out and shrugged, at a loss for what he could say. Somehow he had to apologize for picking Tony over Bruce, but without hurting him, and that was nearly impossible. He was terrified even mention of Tony would bring out the Hulk, yet his gut told him not to let Bruce go. Not until he knew how sorry they were, how much Tony cared about him. Bruce would have no such thing, and cut across his words again, silencing Steve's attempts at an apology with his monologue.

"You like Tony. I get it. He's funny, thinks everything's a joke, he's brilliant, but he's out of control, and he's got the craziest collection of clothes I've ever seen, he'll never stop talking about time travel as if it's possible, he'll never tell you that he's a hero, and he'll acknowledge your differences, not to weaken you, but just to show you he's different, that he sees them and he does care about people, which you can see with his ridiculous reward system with food, even though it's unconscious" Bruce started off before he could help himself. Memories from their month together at the tower poured over him and he felt a mixture of joy and nausea swell in his stomach at the rose colored, blissful memories. Weeks of hanging out and spending time together, sharing food and clothes, and the lab, and never ever finding that their intelligence had started to get the better of them and numb them into a state of boredom. He continued before he could help himself, thinking that he could have just said 'you and Tony belong together' but that lie would have hurt him most of all, and he couldn't bring himself to say it. Now, he realized, he was rambling with no end in sight, listing off Tony Stark's traits. It was better, he reasoned, than becoming the monster. He hoped too, that it would somehow indicated to Steve that Tony really had his love, beyond caring about the embarrassment of Steve knowing.

"But he's got his faults, play boy, reckless, spontaneous, his ego is about the size of his tower and he's arrogant, and he'll never take on any responsibility, but he's Tony Stark and there's no one like him...and he uh- " Bruce stopped, hating how he had begun rambling. "Just he's great, you'll be very happy" Bruce managed, starting to tear up. He bit his tongue, forcing the sadness away and couldn't bring himself to look at Steve.

"Bruce, I'm so sorr-" he started, but Bruce waved it away, despising him for his pity. He wanted to yell at Steve, to tell him he was a grown man and that he had other things to worry about. He would have told him he would get his mind of Tony Stark in a matter of days and he would perfect the serum, he would look into new and better ways of healing, and find ways to combat new villains who had mistrials with similar research. He wanted to assure Steve Rogers, and himself, that he would be fine. The tears threatening to show were telling him to run, and to get out of there as soon as possible, so instead, he moved past Steve and didn't look back. If he knew Steve at all, he knew that he would take care of Tony, and that was all Bruce would ask for.

Bruce would have stayed, if only he knew that night had been the start of the end. Tony had started to hit rock bottom, but no one would see it for weeks.

* * *

A knock brought Tony back to reality, away from the memories of last night, away from his drinking game with Thor yesterday. Steve had stayed silent, letting Tony evaluate the situation. Tony rose to get the room service, and tried to focus on the present. Not on a man who wasn't there, and who obviously didn't care about him, and who was obviously still not over Steve. He tipped the waiter and looked at his espressos and red bull with a queasy stomach, only because he couldn't stop thinking about Bruce. More, he couldn't stop thinking of all that he had done last night and in the past month.

"Why do you think Bruce lied about Bulgaria?" Steve asked, finally breaking the tense silence.

" I don't _think,_" Tony corrected, stabbing a piece of the pink and white fruit.

"Alright, how do you know?" Steve specified, not hiding his annoyance.

"He's in pain, and he thinks that he's a danger to the Avengers so he'll hide until he's over it-"

"Over it?"

"Over _you_." Tony specified, drinking the three espressos in quick succession like shots. " So he won't be back anytime soon, don't hold your breath."

"He did seem pretty torn up when I spoke to him, like he was on the verge of something horrible-"

"Don't take it too hard Captain, I'm sure you've hurt people before" Tony snapped, opening the red bull and forking a piece of the dragon food. Somehow, he managed to keep the food down, and keep his anger in check.

"Did I do something to you?" Steve asked, glaring.

"Nah, I'm sure you always kiss people and then disappear,"

"I spent the night with you!"

"You watched me sleep, kinda creepy. Only Coulson or Edward do that sort of thing,"

" Edward?"

" A vampire...nevermind "

" Tony, I'm sorry" Steve promised, coming towards him.

" Forget it, don't care" Tony replied offhand but Steve knew it was a lie.

" I knew we would have time to deal with this, and I panicked. I can't have Bruce hating me-"

"He's not the first ever to hate you-"

"Tony ,I'm trying to apologize!" Steve strained.

"You could do better,"

"Listen to me...please"

"Well if you wanted that, maybe you shouldn't have chased after the good Doctor after you kissed me,"

"I made a mistake," Steve admitted, coming towards him. "But I won't be like that this time,"

"This time?" Tony cocked an eyebrow, knowing full well what was about to happen and that this time, he would have more power in the exchange.

"You're a genius, I'm going to assume you already know I'm going to kiss you,"

"You're cuter when you get shy and beat around the bush," Tony shrugged, "it's amusing"

Steve didn't need another word as encouragement. He let a grin expand over his face before he took the fork out of Tony's hand. Tony made a small noise of reluctance which turned into a moan as Steve kissed him. The fork fell to the floor, a hazard for later, as one kiss became 3 and then dozens more. He moved from lips to neck and back again, kissing Tony hard, and full of pent up wanting. Steve was panting hard against his lips, about to say something before he lost his chain of thought. His fingers came in contact with Tony's tie and as he undid it, the silk fell through his fingers to join the fork on the floor. Then, clothes were being stripped off with rapid speed and moans complimented the noise of the traffic outside, as the soundtrack to their tryst.

"Well this is a turn of events," Tony managed, as he pushed the fabric of Steve's shirt off his broad shoulders.

"I did spend all night with you"

"Look at that, you're making jokes, I'm so proud," Tony smirked before his mouth was preoccupied again, with making Steve moan louder. As if by some evil twist of fate, just as Steve's fingers started to undo Tony's belt, there was a loud noise. The ringing of Tony's cellphone on the bedside table distracted Steve for only a moment, who didn't wait before reconnecting their lips.

"Wait," Tony pushed him off, but Steve didn't accept the rejection, redirecting his kisses to Tony's neck and down his bare chest. Tony, of course, recognized who it was by the ring tone.

Tony reached forward, and swore loudly as he stepped on the fork dropped moments before. He sat down and massaged his foot before he was able to grab the phone.

"Let it go to that voice mail thing Natasha was talking about,"Steve begged, sitting beside Tony on the bed. He kissed him slowly, in an attempt to distract him from the call. Tony pulled away, realizing his mistake.

"Put it on ice captain, I have to take this call, It's Pepper" Tony responded, still cursing the fruit fork and the pain in his foot.

"Your ex girlfriend?" Steve asked, wanting to know who he was being ditched for.

"I wouldn't exactly say EX," Tony responded, looking away from Steve's gaze, afraid of the speech and outrage to follow.

"WHAT?" Steve asked, backing away, his fingers and lips retreating from Tony. He moved away, as if being this close to him was going to hurt him more.

"You're not serious, please tell me this is one of your stupid jokes," Steve begged, looking to Tony for a sign of remorse or guilt.

"My jokes are fantastic, and NO, this is real life Captain" Tony responded before he picked up the phone, using it as an excuse to stop the conversation with Steve, not aware that he would have the same conversation in just seconds to come.

"Tony-" Steve started, but he picked up the phone and looked away from Steve. His guilty gaze caught the captains shirt on the floor, his own jacked, tie and shirt there as well. Guilt flooded over him and he bowed his head, trying to keep his voice even.

"Tony Stark," he answered.

"Tony," Pepper didn't sound pleased, and he was about to find out why, and lose two relationships in one conversation.

* * *

[tbc]

Please let me know of any inconsistencies, if this chapter's flashbacks are confusing, any bad characterizations or spelling errors. Thank you so much for reading, you have no idea what your comments mean to me. More to come soon.


	4. Around The World in 30 Days

AN: Sorry for the wait! Thank you for continuing to read this story! It'll get happier, I promise!

PS. Feedback keeps me writing and posting.

Again, own nothing.

* * *

Shame greeted him at every turn, on the faces of the busy airport staff, and the tourists flooding through the terminals. He kept his eyes locked on Gate number 78, and breathed out deeply. He knew exactly what he was doing, and by now, Bruce was used to running. He was sitting at the Bangkok airport, and had been for the last 7 hours, as much as he hated it, but anything was better than being near Tony. It was getting impossible to even think about him, and it was starting to eat Bruce alive. He had already decided on his location, remote, untraceable. The phone would be shut off, all ties with his former self severed, and he wouldn't have to see mention of Tony Stark in the press, or encounter Stark weapons. Bruce Banner was planning a Tony Stark detox, one that would ensure his path to recovery, until he felt able enough to go back to the Avengers. As if on cue, his phone rang, reminding him of the painful reality- that he wasn't away from Tony, not yet. He didn't find the call surprising, due to yesterday's events, and he bet that Pepper planned to give him an update on Tony's health. Bruce picked up the phone, scared to let himself think of Tony.

He recalled the phone call as he attempted to read in the dim light. He sucked in a hot breath of air, the humidity and thickness of it something his lungs still hadn't accustomed to. He would be lying if he said he hadn't thought about Tony Stark for a month. At least, he thought, after that phone call with Pepper he hadn't spoken to anyone. Not since Bangkok had he stopped to pity himself, or to think about others. He didn't matter in the grande scheme of things, he thought, rereading the same line. The floor he slept on was giving him back pains and though he missed the comfort of a bed, or even his guest room in the Stark Tower, ( if he let himself think about it) he knew, he was doing better here. His detox was working.

Most called the Hulk an illness, but Bruce knew the truth. His true ailment was Tony Stark, and he planned to purge himself of the virus. He had started to get better, and had reclaimed part of himself, no longer the shadow of the man called Bruce Banner. He had gotten away from the man who could make him break down, lose his intelligence and all sight of himself. It was problematic too, because Tony made his loose his calm, and that just happened to endanger civilians and friends alike. He hadn't heard from anyone in the Avengers, and he liked it that way. He knew, because of the sporadic dreams, and nights of insomnia that visited him, that he was no where near over Tony Stark.

He had buried himself in his work, he read every book available to him, and then started writing the ones that hadn't been. If he kept his head down, his glasses on and the possibility of an attack far away, he would be able to find himself. Maybe then, he could get over Tony Stark and get back to being part of the best team he'd ever known, one that specialized in aliens, and welcomed his insecurities.

He had been getting better, but that was before Tony Stark almost died.

* * *

Sometimes he didn't know what made him more tired- the 13 hour work days he inflicted on himself, writing his thesis or if it was keeping his mind distracted from Tony Stark. Only when he lay down in bed did his thoughts slow down long enough for the billionaire to make an appearance. Usually he kept the insomnia away with sleeping pills, but he still couldn't stop the dreams, no matter what he tried. He stayed away from all media, tv or print, not wanting to catch a whiff of what any of the Avengers had been doing in the last 30 days, least of all Iron Man. It had been hard enough to stay away from all methods of communication, to leave the trace of his last life behind, and even change his name, but he knew it was a necessary precaution. Still he knew that just because he had severed all ties with them, didn't mean they didn't know where he was.

He was on the way to the market, hoping to find more aid for the rudimentary medical practice he was able to run out of his lodgings- a nearby farm house. One of the local children rushed past him to a group of others, crowding around a stall. He paid no attention to their conversation, until he heard the name _Tony Stark, _identifiable in any language. The boy was speaking rapid French, and Bruce was resisting the urge to evesdrop. He approached the boys against his better judgement and broke the one rule he had; promising not to actively seek out any information regarding Tony Stark. This had to be an exception, he justified, for unless his French had deceived him, the word _accident _ had sprung up a few times.

"Vincent, what are you talking about?" he asked. The youth turned to him and offered him a wide grin, before explaining the gossip.

"Tony Stark is a superhero!" he started, and another youth called behind him, seconding the statement.

"Why?" Bruce asked, unaware that his words were coming out through an awkward laugh. It had been so long since he'd let himself speak of Tony at all. "Because he's Iron Man?"

"NO" Vincent gasped, "He went diving off cliffs the day after a motorcycle accident! He just took the medicine and left!" Vincent grinned, before adding "I wish I was as strong as that." Before he knew it, the boys were shouting out names of the Avengers and getting ready to play a game about aliens and superheroes. Much like the real team, everyone was fighting over Tony Stark. He moved away from their game, sick of how quickly and easily he had broked his rule. He forced himself to pay little attention the gossip, assuring himself that Tony had a reckless nature, and that the press loved to exaggerate. He tried to assure himself that Tony would not control his emotions any longer, or even take hold of his thoughts.

He didn't let himself worry until he came home to Natasha and Clint in his home a few days later. He wasn't surprised they had kept tabs on him and his travels through Africa, and it was wise for them to corner him in in the small city in the Union of the Comoros. Even he couldn't ignore the gravity with which they appeared, and he knew almost immediately that his seclusion had come to an end. Still, he would try to fight it for a while longer, not sure if he was ready to be submerged into a world of superheros, super dramatic team members, and anything to do with Tony just quite yet.

"I'm not coming back, they need me here," _not for a while, _he thought under his breath. Natasha didn't meet his gaze, whether too afraid to tell him the news, or strangely interested in the rug under their feet

"We're missing half our team," Clint said, not mistaking sentiment for a number of bodies.

"I'm hardly half"

"Nice ego, Banner, but Stark's bailed too," Clint grumbled in response. The sounds from a nearby market, a dozen voices broke into the silence between them as Bruce breathed out.

"I'm not ready," he said, looking to Natasha for help, but the pattern of the rug dominated her attention.

"We're not giving you a choice, Banner," Clint responded, rising. He breathed in the air and looked around the room lazily, out the window to the busy street below.

"So you're going to force me to be a hero? Let's see how well the other guy takes that" Bruce responded dryly. Clint breathed out, planting hands on his hips, he rotated from the window.

"Sorry to cut your little vacation short-"

"I'm not coming back," Bruce reiterated. He could tell in their countenance, that there was something they weren't saying, that the high stakes were making Clint more adamant in his views, and harsher.

"Look I don't know what the hell is going on between you and Rogers, and that's your own damn business, but you're dragging our name through the mud-"

"I've resigned,"

"Jesus Christ Banner, we've had three Class 4 situations in the last month and your personal drama can take a backseat, you're not more important than the rest of the universe,"

"I never said I was, and I know you can handle it without me,"

"Not without Stark though,"

"Unless you've forgotten, I don't answer for him, I don't think anyone ever could, so talk to him if you want him back on the Avengers, I never told him to leave," Bruce explained in a steady tone. Being in their presence was making him think of Tony, and he felt as if he was a drug addict, relapsing. If he wasn't careful, within 5 minutes he would start saying his name again, which he had avoided for a month. Soon, he would even be thinking about Tony and then his heart would seem to crack under the weight of missing him.

"It's better this way," he promised, and even though he wasn't meant to be on the boat to Nzwani until 7, he grabbed his bag, ready to make a run for it. He hoped that they would respect his privacy this time, and that everyone would give up the dream of him being a hero, because that clearly wasn't going to happen. There was a reason he had picked the third smallest region in Africa after all.

"Tony tried to kill himself" Natasha's voice sounded foreign, but perhaps that was because he hadn't heard her speak for a month.

"I heard about the motorcycle accident," Bruce omitted, wishing it wasn't true. Natasha's expression confirmed his worst wishes.

"Nothing compared to what he's been doing this month. Do you know about the heroin?" Natasha commented, and he knew she was only telling him the the start of Tony's problems.

"No, I didn't" Bruce replied honestly, feeling as if the floor was going to give out under him. " But he would never-"he started, but he was flooded with a sudden memory of holding a gun to himself, of tears streaming down his face as he pulled the trigger.

Bruce turned back around, unable to breathe, every moment lingered and he looked to Natasha, then Clint and tried to read what they weren't saying. Each fluent in a number of languages, they could communicate now even without words. The bag fell from his hands and he felt cliche, and broken and as if all his intelligence had just abandoned him. This had never been about getting him to come home, it had been about getting Tony to come home. Later he would blame the heat, the smell of spices rising up over the clothes line that hit him with the sudden desire to faint. Breathing didn't come easily, and the dizziness was getting to him. Shaking his head wasn't helping things, but thankfully the denial only lasted a few seconds.

"Where is he?" his voice came out broken, but he pushed past the fear, because no conversation had ever been more important in his whole life.

"He's in a hospital a few hours from here, he was found yesterday, we came as soon as we heard, I'm surprised he didn't get himself kidnapped and held for ransom," she paused, leaving her anger behind before she continued. "He's been an hour away from you for a week, Malawi" she added, as if the subtle irony of the fact would make this easier to swallow. His knees buckled and he barely had time to grab the table to steady himself. He sat in a nearby chair and ignored the dizziness, the urge to throw up and focused on Natasha instead.

"Bruce, this past month Tony's been in the hospital four times, he's been all over Asia and Europe and Africa doing one crazy stunt after the next-"

"He went cliff diving the day after a motorcycle accident, his system still full of painkillers."

"I heard about that" Bruce admitted, "I thought it was just colorful gossip"

"No need to embellish anything in that story" Natasha commented, dryly.

"And he entered the cage of death in Australia with no protection, half drunk-" Clint added in awe as if Tony's recent spectacles amused and disturbed him.

"You came here to bring me to him?" he asked, picking that question over thousands others. Natasha nodded, solemn. He didn't ask about the damage, he would see that for himself soon enough.

"I said we should have opened with it, but-" Clint stopped, his smile fading as he met Bruce's gaze. "Tony will be fine, he just needs to get home, and to stop this behavior," Clint pointed out.

"We need to leave now," he responded, finally finding his feet. Purpose billowed over him and he met Natasha's gaze, hard. He wanted to say thank you, to squeeze her hand and make sure she knew how much this meant to him, how important this was to him. It could wait until he had seen Tony.

* * *

The memories only had a chance to come back because Tony was sober, for the first time in over a month. It was the sour, alcoholic smell of disinfectant that woke him. He tried to slip back into a sleep, hoping to wade off the memories for a while longer. Pain shot up his arm, and then he realized that was the least of it. The rest of his body burned with pain, as if he hadn't allowed himself to slow down to realize how much he had hurt himself. His motorcylce injuries still ached, he was covered with dozens of bruises he didn't remember contracting, and his mind felt as if it had been lit on fire. He knew he hadn't eaten for what seemed like days, and the ceiling started swirling above him. He clenched his eyes shut in an attempt to let the vertigo pass, counting. The ceiling was stoic when he opened them back up, and at first he thought it was a trick of the light. Either that, or Bruce Banner was at his bed side, in the foreign hospital.

"Bruce?" he asked slowly, realizing he was in a cold sweat. The light was blinding, like in any hospital and though he couldn't remember what continent he was in, he could tell by the smell of anesthetic and the fluorescent lights that he was in a sick bed. Tony knew there was little hope of concealing his identity, he almost found himself caring if the press got wind of his whereabouts.

"Morphine" he requested feebly.

"Not until the drugs are out of your system, Mr. Stark " a passing Doctor responded, his accent thick with and accent Tony was too tired to try to place. Tony nodded slowly, remembering; _how had heroin been a good idea? _

"A drink then?" he asked, hoping that when he closed his eyes sleep would cover him over like a blanket. Instead he couldn't escape the memories, most notably, how he had broken up with Pepper Potts and Steve Rogers in the same conversation. Then, he fell unconscious.

Bruce brushed the hair back from Tony's face and watched his slow breathing, distraught that Tony was in so much pain. Bruce had kept quiet, ignoring the impulse to respond to Tony's requests. Hearing his own name from Tony's delirious state almost subsided the intense anger he held for himself. He would have time to pity and hate himself later, he knew, but first he needed Tony to heal. He would forever hate himself if he Hulked out and was the cause of more pain for Tony. He knew his own turmoil was nothing compared to Tony's pain. The sound of a door clicking shut signaled Natasha's arrival and he didn't bother moving his hand away from Tony's face. _Secrets get you killed, _Bruce thought darkly and he wondered why he had ever been this stupid. Tony had been the one to accept all of his secrets, and he knew that this one should have been no different. He also knew that regret wouldn't make Tony Stark better, so there was no use dwelling. Natasha sat beside him, fingers trailing over his shoulder as she pressed her hand into the tense muscle of his neck. She gave a comforting squeeze before abandoning all touch.

"It's going to be alright," she said. Even if Tony would soon be ok, Bruce found himself doubting that he ever would be. His self loathing was a toxin,aimed with possessing him, like bile rising up with no end in sight until it took over his whole body. Nothing helped his emotional distress and he shuddered suddenly to think of who he had become. He should have felt like this after Pepper, after causing Tony pain, but maybe he hadn't been himself until he had seen Tony in pieces. It was a harsh enough wake up call to remind Bruce of the only things that actually mattered in his life.

"I'm so sorry" he whispered into the air, wishing Tony could hear him, but secreltly wishing he wouldn't. All his mistakes dominated his memory, and he knew that he was responsible for Pepper, Steve and Tony's pain. He remembered, with a guilty pit in his stomach, the last phone call he had before getting on the plane to Comoros.

He had expected Pepper to give him an update on Tony's drinking, and to perhaps tell him that Tony had made a rash decision to stay in Bangkok. Instead, he was greeted with a suddenly confrontational tone, one full of so much annoyance and pain he could practically taste it over the line.

"I left Tony" she supplied, instead of responding to his inquiry about her health.

"You were still dating?" Bruce asked, his shock off the charts. He swore under his breath and fumbled over himself to apologize.

"Pepper...I'm so sorry, I had no idea...I just...I'm so sorry..I didn't know."

" You shouldn't have told me either way Bruce!" Pepper scolded.

" I know, I'm sorry, I'm a mess lately, and I keep screwing things up"

"Bruce why the hell did you tell me?" she asked, straining to hide her sobbing.

"Pepper, I'm sorry! God,I shouldn't have...I just..I saw them kiss and you asked me what brought on the drinking and Steve saw me and followed me, and left him, but maybe I'm wrong! We know Tony, he's a playboy, maybe it's not like that-"

"You and I both know that's wishful thinking" she cut across angrily, sniveling in the silence.

" Pepper-" but he stopped, listening to her cry.

"You'll be fine, you know. You're incredibly strong"

"I don't think he can handle it right now. " Pepper confessed, amidst tears. "He's been a wreck lately"

"Believe me, he'll be fine" He assured, to convince himself as well.

" I feel awful" he said, hoping she would believe him. Of course he had no idea that he would be a catalyst for Tony Stark's darkest days.

"There's nothing you can do, its fine"

"Pepper, honestly I should have never- I wasn't thinking, I was trying to let you know and make sure his drinking wasn't out of control"

"You know, the world might benefit more if you were selfish sometimes" she commented, even though she only knew the tip of the iceberg. Her words resounded in his head and he went over all the events that had happened between them, wondering what could have been, if only.

"I'll keep that in mind" he promised.

"I just thought you should know-" Pepper started, but the tears got the better of her again and she hung up the phone without another word.

He felt sick just thinking about it. If he had only taken her advice then, he could have rushed back to Tony and avoided the month that would forever live in their memory as 'Tony's Month Out of Control'. He had felt awful then, responsibile for three people's emotional misery, his own not included, with no knowledge of the events that were to come.

Though Bruce's superpowers didn't lie in mind reading, he had a feeling he knew what Natasha was thinking. Recently, the tests had come back and the amount of heroin in Tony's system had been frighteningly high. He knew though, as well as she did that they would never know. If Tony had tried to kill himself, he might never say. Perhaps he had been chasing a thrill, or been completely reckless. Somehow, Bruce didn't want to know, he couldn't stand feeling worse or more responsible for this.

"It's my fault," he made out slowly. Natasha knew better than to say anything to the contrary. She nodded and followed his gaze to Tony's face.

"He's getting better," even though it didn't look like it.

"Even trying to order drinks" Bruce added, with a weak laugh.

The bruise that took over the side of Tony's face was the least of his problems, even as it was the size of a melon, greenish grey in the fluorescent lighting of the foreign hospital. It was as if Tony's face had morphed into green alien like skin. Bruce vaguely recalled being a hero, fighting monsters of the same shade, but all that was suddenly dim against this harsh reality. He wasn't that person anymore, and he was too close to an attack to focus on anything but the wounds that covered Tony. Whose shallow breathing was keeping Bruce in one piece, for now, but the second he left the hospital he knew he would explode. He just had to make Tony Stark get onto the track to recovery first.

"Will you stay?" she asked, as if reading his mind. He shook his head, focusing on the oxygen mask and half dozen wires attached to Tony's frail frame. He counted the broken ribs, the still healing gash from the motorcycle accident weeks before. He let his eyes trail over the spot where the tiger had scratched Tony, when he had been drunk on Safari. Bruce looked away before he realized how much damage had actually been done in past 30 days.

"If I hadn't left him in Bangkok-" he forced himself to stop. No point in reliving what had happened a month ago. Natasha wondered if he was about to break down into tears in front of her, but he was done with self pitying. Anger was waiting on a precipice, ready to possess him.

There was no mystery to the trigger of the attack. The second he left the hospital grounds, it possessed him, and he relished the anger. The outlet of emotions took over him and his glasses crunched under the weight of the giant green leg. He screamed into the night, and natives of the small village would never know what had happened. The monster would be talked about for weeks but the mystery of the strange beast would never be solved. Only Bruce would know the truth; that lately, he had been more of a monster than the Hulk had ever been.

* * *

It really wasn't fair how vivid the memory came back to Tony, he thought sourly as the exact layout of the hotel room and every word came back to him, crystal clear. Tony would have thought that he'd had enough alcohol in the last month to permanently repress that particular memory. He was lucky he survived the recent adventure, but not so lucky as to forget. Not for the first time in a month he felt horrible, as if he was about to be sick. He called out blindly for a scotch, memories overlapping. Bars in Australia, Chinese opium dens, experimental drugs in the South of Loas, the hospital in Belarus after the motorcycle accident all meshed together until he actually believed he was back in one of the many hotels, at the bar ordering a scotch.

He was paralyzed by the pain, and the adventures of the last month flashed at them, inciting nothing but self shame. Each expedition was more reckless than the last, and he'd spent a month trying to forget every detail of his own life, living as if he could die at any moment, not really caring if he did.

"Morphine!" he shouted, begging for something to faze out the memories haunting him, but he would not be so lucky, he had to be human. He had to remember, and he couldn't run from himself anymore.

Steve stared at him, his judgement obvious. It made him feel horrible, but it was nothing compared to the rant Pepper was giving him on the phone.

"Ok! Stop!-" Tony started, but Steve was watching him, almost as Hawkeye would, he thought humorously, but no one would see the funny side.

"I'm not sorry" he said, and he could read the confusion on Steve's features, wondering if Tony's words were meant for him.

"And I'm not going to say you didn't know what you were getting into, this is how I am, I'm a liar" he continued, locking eyes with Steve now. " and I will hurt you and I don't love either of you, I don't want to be with either of you"

"Tony you're sabotaging yourself, we can talk about this, please-" Pepper's tears almost made him rethink his words, but he just continued on, harsher.

"No. It's over" a thousand other words passed through his mind, the truth _you deserve better, I don't deserve anyone, _but instead he hung up.

"Tony" whatever Steve was about to say, Tony knew he didn't want to hear it.

"Don't bother, super soldier-" Tony was already formulating a dozen insults that would ensure that Steve never looked at him with anything but malice ever again, but Steve spoke before he could say even one.

"You're out of control, you're not being yourself"

"Cuz you know me so well?" Tony retorted. "Why do you all expect so much from me?" Tony asked, childishly. Steve didn't buy the tantrum, or indulge it with a compliment, instead he rose slowly, breathing out.

"When you find out who you are, again, come find me"

"What you'll wait for me or some poetic nonsense?" Tony attacked, judgement in his every movement.

"If you ask me to, yes" Steve's sincerity was breathtaking, but Tony didn't let himself dwell on it.

"Because I'm so worth it?" Tony spat back, malice hovering over his tone, like an evil beast ready to take over his spirit.

"There's no one like you" Steve admitted, borrowing the words Bruce had told him hours before.

"Spare yourself the trouble, Pepper and I will probably sort this out, you're the temptation at a party, the obstacle to true love or whatever that is" Tony lied through his teeth, not caring how much hurt he caused.

"Not to mention you're really not my type,it'd be fun and all, but a lot of hassle, and in the end, just a hot mess, yes, you're hot, but so are a billion other people on the planet, and I'm a playboy like you said, I don't settle, so let's not complicate things anymore by making the mistake of you know hooking up. Instead, lets try to go back to being a team, if we even work as that," Tony responded, pocketing his phone from where it sat on the nightstand table. In just ten minutes he would decide to leave the Avengers for a month, for the prospect of more exciting, life threatening thrills around the world.

"Have a nice life," he mocked a salute and left the room before Steve could say another word.

Tony groaned against the pain and opened his eyes, realizing he had been able to sleep. He focused first on her red hair, then his gaze hovered over her chest. She slapped him in the shoulder, hard and he refocused on her eyes. Pain dizzied him for a few seconds and he groaned, just realizing how much of him ached and was covered in bruises.

"So you're not a mirage" Tony retorted, knowing that Natasha would never put up with him. She was real then, not some kinky sex dream brought on by a withdrawal from the hard drugs.

"I've heard" she responded, looking around the now dimly lit hospital room. She found herself thinking that Bruce should be here, as Tony has finally found consciousness long enough to talk about something other than morphine or Scotch. But, Bruce already had three incidents in the week that Tony had been in the hospital, and Natasha knew as well as Bruce did, that he had to get away as soon as possible. Bruce needed to get over his self pitying, self loathing act, she thought, and she knew and he needed distance from the cause of his distress.

"Where am I?" Tony croaked, as she handed him a cup. His lips were cracking and parched, and he tasted the blood as he swallowed the tepid water.

"Does it matter? I'm taking you home"

"Why you?" Tony asked numbly. He wondered if he should mention that he had started hallucinating Bruce Banner caressing his face, waiting by his bed side and whispering _I love yous, you'll get betters _and _I'm sorrys. _

"Pepper doesn't want to see you" Natasha shrugged, omitting the real question.

"Well, I cant this weekend; scuba diving off the coast of Zingaro, maybe next."

"You want to explain to me how you've fractured our team and broken three hearts in one month?"

"I'm in pain, give a guy a few days to recover"

"I'd be happy to make that pain worse" she threatened, looming a fist over his shoulder.

"Three? I had no idea you felt about me that way" he winked.

"Cut the wit, stark"

"Worried how Barton will react?" She breathed out, rolling her eyes before she put on a fake smile and leaned towards him.

"You've been here a week, you're still not look that great, he won't see you as much of a threat"

"I'll make an effort to get better for you,"

"Maybe I should upgrade then," she batted her eyelashes and he managed to smirk through the pain. "So the next time you try to kill yourself I'll really be the _widow,"_

"Just take me home," he grumbled, wishing that he could fall unconscious and avoid this conversation.

* * *

"Well isn't this a fun little party?" Tony asked, as his eyes glazed over the faces of the people in front of him. The press got him at the airport, and in the short expanse of road between his car and the tower.

One sleepless night back in his old home, he wasn't surprised to find someone ( maybe Pepper, or Natasha or even Rhodey) had emptied his collection of booze. The detox was harder than he had anticipated, but the hospital had handled the worst of it. He had been woken by Jarvis that morning,and notified of visitors in his penthouse, whom he hadn't expected on his second day back in New York.

"Tony, this is an intervention," Pepper's voice broke the silence, but there was a different tone in her voice. One that held submerged anger, and he could tell that she wasn't over him, in the way her eyes never met his, and in the quivering of her hand. He wondered if she could tell the same about him, but would never ask.

"I can see that, Pepper," Tony responded. "Don't you think it's a bit unnecessary?" _Redundant, impossible,outdated, cliche and bound to fail, _he thought of adding, but Pepper continued.

"Tony, all of us are here because we love you-" Pepper tried, but her voice broke at the word and her eyes flew to the view outside of the windows.

"Really, all of you?" Tony asked, coming towards them, nitpicking at words. "Do you love me, Steve?" Tony asked in mockery, surprised that the super soldier had even made the cut.

"You need to come back to the Avengers," Steve responded. He had no intention of saying I love you, or anything affectionate to Tony after Bangkok, and his tone reflected as much. Tony smiled as if he had a secret, nodding before he approached Bruce.

"And you, Bruce, do you love me? Because I haven't seen you for months, you disappeared off the face of the planet, helping people, how f**cking heroic of you, abandon your best friend, I was in the hospital for a week, where were you?" He had confined the visions in the hospital to being just that, hallucinations. Wishing Bruce had been there with him had made him realize all over again how much Bruce had let him down. Bruce didn't deserve Tony's niceties, he thought threateningly, and missing Bruce was something Tony just would not do. He had already intentionally hurt himself enough this month, after all.

Bruce blinked in response to the accusation, but it didn't matter, because he had blamed himself enough already. Also he had decided that once they were alone, he would tell Tony everything. Natasha cut in, saving Bruce from a respoe in front of everyone.

"We're here because you tried to kill yourself."

"Apt assessment, agent, but it's not like anyone would really miss me, I'm volatile, remember, don't play well with others? Now you can all pick up your feel good badges and clap yourselves on the back, you've tried to help a delinquent, job well done, hurry along home,"

"We're not leaving, Tony, not until we talk to you about this!" Pepper pushed.

"You're spinning out of control," Rhodey pointed out.

"I suppose you all have beautiful heartfelt letters for me?" Tony asked, sitting on a stool with a false grin. "Well come on, I haven't got all day, Surfing with Sharks near Perth in a few hours," he added with a flair, lying to get them the hell out of his house.

"Just tell us what's going on," Steve tried.

"Why so you can fix it? Get me to see a shrink? Ok, here," he mimed pulling names out of a hat, tossing invisible slips of paper at each person as he spoke.

"There, have daddy issues, and you Rhodey, you can have, extreme vanity, and you Pepper, you know, you can have...lets see...yeah...pent up aggression, and Natasha, you can add being forced to work with a bunch of ungrateful superheroes to the list, throw in withdrawal from booze and drugs to the mix, and you...what was your name again? You don't get jack shit, Bruce, because you haven't been here, tough luck, best friendship over, intervention finished," he clapped his hands clean.

"Now get out," he hopped of the chair. If they wouldn't leave, he would.

"We're staying with you until you get better," It was Natasha who pushed, unamused by Tony's show.

"Don't have room for all of you," Tony responded, wanting them to see the lie.

"I'll stay" Bruce said suddenly. "You need someone to take care of you"

"What, because we're suddenly friends again? Don't you hate me or something? Too in love with your precious Steve even to talk to me anymore? You had to pick the spandex wearing one over me, didn't you?"

"ENOUGH!" Steve shouted suddenly. "This is about the three of us, and Bruce is right, I'm staying too"

"Big surprise there," Tony commented, turning his back to the crowd, he started raiding his cupboards for any trace of alcohol. Even listerine would do at this point.

"Tony this is serious" Steve pointed out.

"I guess a threesome is off the table then, Captain?" Tony joked.

"Tony, we have to sort this out," Steve said, ignoring the flush that sped to his cheeks.

"You can all go home, knowing you've wasted my time," Tony said.

"We're staying, you can't change our minds," Steve responded.

"Even if it takes weeks," Bruce agreed.

"I better not hear you screwing" he said gruffly before as elevator doors closed, with him inside.

* * *

[tbc]

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know of any mistakes, in plot, grammer or characterizations. Your feedback means the world to me!


End file.
